I took you up to the hill
To show you the view of our childhood.
And as I held the gun right behind your back
And I talked to you about the dreams we made
And the lives we lived,
I undid the safety off of it,
And I knew
That it was loaded full,
And I was shaking.
As you were looking at the horizon, above the green small pool we used to swim in,
As your eyes were travelling through time
Making it stop,
And making it run as a presto written violin concerto would.
I could hear your heart pound inside you chest
Slow, safe and sound.
As the child that was hidden in you jumped out and formed in your face.
Your features were softer now.
And then, you spoke:
'.....And we'll take care of each other, remember when we promised?'
You said, in a manner of a naive child.
'Yes, I remember. And I will..'
I answered back.
It wasn't a fake promise,
But it was going to be broken any time soon,
Because it had to.
Friend,
It was not your fault.
It was nobody's fault.
It was something unavoidable
Something to happen
In order to save you.
I watched you as you breathed.
Slow inhales, slow exhales
So hush and so soft,
All this harmony
Lost and forgotten by this world, was hidden in you
You eyes, watery, a warm shade of pine green.
Gleaming, sad but fine,
At the view of our long lost childhood.
The kid in you was alive and well.
You could see it run near the small green pool,
You just couldn't see enough.
A pale smile was drawn on your relaxed face,
Such beauty
Hidden in a face,
Hidden in a soul.
It was too awful to vanish it.
My hand was shaking
My heart was pounding out of my chest.
Tears fell,
Tears shed.
I looked at you
In pure love and admiration.
And I could see
The reflection of perfection
In your swollen eyes.
You were crying as well.
While I was talking about our dreams and expectations,
My gun behind your back
Unable to stand still in my hand
Fell on the grass
And as I rushed to pick it up,
I heard you breathe 'Do it'.
And it was the time I couldn't hold on anymore,
And broke down
Crying
As I fell beside my gun
Right under your gloomy stare.
'I can't'
I exhaled as I covered my face
Turning my back
To the unavoidable future
Planned for us
Planned for you
'Please.' you echoed,
A husky voice
Sounding over my sobbing.
I reached for the metal killing instrument
And grabbed it.
You sat next to me
And held my chin up
To make me look at you
'For me' you spoke sure for yourself
'I want you to talk to me
About that life
About that dream
That the world would be alright
Promise to me you'll kill me'
We're so blind
