zodiac signs.

Which Celestial Body Should You Fight

Aries: none, stay home

Taurus: the moon

Gemini: Also the moon

Cancer: Anything you goddamn want to

Leo: The sun

Virgo: The International Space Station 

Libra: Mars. God fricking luck

Scorpio: The sun, but you'll probably lose

Sagittarius: A mylar balloon in the shape of a star

Capricorn: Start kicking rocks, you're bound to find a meteor some day, and when you do you're gonna tear it a new asshole

Aquarius: The moon but only after Taurus and Gemini have softened it up a bit

Pisces: Just go outside at night and scream