Fingers are trembling
Lips are stuttering
Muttering
Mumbling
How hard it is
How much I'm trying
Wishful thinking
Pointless hoping
Helpless wondering
Eyes are widening
Emotions I'm fighting
No longer hiding
Abiding
All this fussing
I'm messing
My pulse keeps accelerating
Anxiety
Can you tell
What is wrong with me?
Why does these thoughts
Bother me?
Blind me?
Take control of me?
No longer recognize
Behind my disguise
What is inside of me?
This is not who I am
This does not define me
Losing sight
Colors too bright
Glaring light
Standing in between
Those thin, fragile lines
To determine wrong and right
THIS IS NOT WHO I AM
I say
But try as I might
This is who I chose to stay
But here I stand
On the edge of land
Suffocating on sand
Nothing is going
The way I planned
Bleeding, Pleading
But I'm still believing
Forming and failing words
Non-existent verbs
Trying to take back
My confidence you're stealing
But I'm not weeping
NO
You'll never catch me crying
Ask me why
And I will lie
These feelings that I'm denying
Defying gravity
Falling never meant too much to me
Staying afloat
You'll come with your boat
But you'll ignore my cries
And leave me be
Under the waves
I'm in a haze
Never fail to amaze
What has been done to me
The skin that I cut
I'm in a rut
Don't ask me what
I've turned out to be
Honestly,
I'll never answer
Thoughts are a cancer
I'm a disaster
Compared to who I've been
Here is my offer
Waste time to ponder
Swear on my honor
I didn't think it was
A kind of sin
