Puddlebrain

Chapter Three

Gather round, ladeees 'n' genalmen. Roll up!

In the red corner, we have Mr. Pomp... Mayor Harper, mayor and snob extraordinaire, weighing in at two pigs and a donkey. In the blue corner, we have Edna, witch and occasional teapot collector, weighing in at two pigs, three mice and a chicken.

Mayor Harper stopped dead in his tracks. Well, he wasn't dead, and he hadn't made any tracks – any dirt that had been inconsiderate enough to fall on the path immediately jumped off (it could get rather angry when pushed), but his pause was fairly pronounced. He was not, as has been noted, stupid. The sight of Edna striding from the depths of her house with thunder thundering across her face was enough to stop the rain in its fall or the sun in its shine. Mayor Roly stopped in his poley. When he saw the other two wicked witches crawl out behind their sister, he very nearly turned on his tail and did his best to run. His better judgement didn't get the better of him in this case, so he stood his ground and waited.

"Mayor."

"Edna."

"Hello."

"Hello indeed."

"Well, that's the unpleasantries over with. To what do I owe this distinct pleasure?"

Edna emphasised her sarcasm with a little wave of her finger. It had the desired effect and Harpy took a step back. He then remembered he was an idiot and stepped forward again. He was not going to be scared off by a silly woman who just happened to be able to give him a second head. That wouldn't have been so bad, but the first head wasn't much good to begin with.

Edna smiled. He was good, she'd give him that. Harpy might not have been the quickest shake of the lamb's tail, but he was plainly courageous. Either that or he really was the dunderhead that everyone believed. Puddlebrain stepped to her right hand side and Gemini flanked her left. They were smiling too. Edna knew they would leave this up to her, but their added menace was making this much more fun. Harpy's face slowly changed from the rosy red it had been to a distinctly sickly white. The thick thatch of jet-black hair on his voluminous head, a present from Edna only weeks before, served to make his pallid skin look like an anaemic snowman's. All he needed was a carrot nose and a couple of lumps of coal for eyes.

Hmmm, thought Edna. That was a thought...

"I've come to instruct you to cease your meddling magic." The mayor took another step forward. He refused to be intimidated by the likes of these. He would show them!

"Have you now. How interesting. Hear that, sisters? He's going to instruct us to stop using our magic."

Gemini and Puddlebrain laughed quietly. They were nowhere near as forceful as their sister, and realised it was her fault that things had come to this, but it was rather funny. The mayor was going to stop them. The mayor! Puddlebrain, years before, had needed to show him how to tie his own shoelaces and he had been so useless at it he had to start wearing buckled shoes. That was when he was a young man, let alone a child.

"How precisely, do you expect to do that then?"

Edna stepped towards the mayor. She didn't need to be close to him to use her magic, and could easily have done without the smell of sweat and baked beans that emanated from his Pudginess, but effect was all important here. He and his loyal band of quivering wrecks needed to be shown - not who was boss, but who was in charge. It wasn't the same thing. The witches could have been across the road, down the street and around the corner and still have turned the mayor into a frog if they'd wished. Harpy was about to be shown that you never cross the road to cross a witch.

They wondered occasionally why the villagers were always so afraid of being turned into frogs. As far as the sisters were concerned, no witch had ever cast such a spell. Witches liked frogs. They certainly wouldn't taint the frog population by adding a few people. What a horrendous thought! Still, it was a rumour that added a little spice to the tales of witches and their ways.