The Summer I Learned to Breathe

ten

☼ ten ☼

I usually don't waste a summer afternoon walking the streets of town. But when Madison offered a girls day, wandering through the quaint streets, shopping in some stores and eating at a café, I couldn't come up with any reason not to go. I don't have anything to lose except some cash.

Besides, the unusually humid air disgusts me, and I don't plan on voluntarily spending time amongst it. I love just being lakeside, but the stifling heat completely ruins the atmosphere.

So here I am, walking down the sunny sidewalk clad in only a crop top, jean shorts, and sandals with my hair pulled back and sunglasses shielding the sun's rays from my eyes. Beads of sweat are organizing into a relentless army across my forehead, threatening to spill down my already flushed face. Madison seems the same, dressed in a similar outfit and fanning her hand beside her face. I'm sure her eyes are darting around in a similar fashion as mine in a desperate search for relief: water, ice cream, air conditioning.

Neither of us have said much during the beginning of our adventure in this weather despite having many topics to discuss because we haven't talked since her camping trip. My mind begins wandering, debating whether this outing was really worth being away from air conditioning.

Finally, Madison breaks the silence. "What's up with you today?" she begins, heading into Samantha's. She holds the door as I reach for it and follow her to the thankfully air-conditioned space. As I slide my sunglasses off of my face, the bell above the door rings to announce our arrival. "You seem," she continues, searching for the appropriate word, glancing at me when she speaks. "Off." I raise an eyebrow, looking up from the rack of brightly colored dresses we are browsing through. "Like, not in a bad way," she clarifies. "But you've been awfully smiley since I got back from camping."

I never glimpse up. Instead, I awkwardly avert my attention to adjust the folding of a graphic tee on the dark maple table placed beside the rack of dresses. It's a light weight fabric, and it's definitely not worth the forty dollar price tag. "Must I have a reason to be extra smiley?"

"No!" she defends. "I was just wondering if you spoke to anyone special today?" I decide to verbally pass on a response to her hint dropping. There's a slight chance I happened to converse with someone in the past few hours, but no one said I was required to explain every detail to Madison, even if she is my best friend.

I fight the heat that battles to rush to my cheeks. It's a short battle when my cheeks manage to take on a slight pink tone as I flip through the rack of dresses. Madison never mentioned a name, or even a boy for that matter, but I immediately catch my mind wandering to thoughts of Sam.

Sam's eyes, Sam's smile, Sam's voice...

I'm bombarded with emotions of embarrassment due to discussing this topic with Madison, and I feel like I want to disappear or blend in with the surrounding clothing racks. Does this store sell any clothing-rack-camouflage?

Madison wears a confident smile at the obvious redness of my face. "So you do like him!" she squeals.

"I do not like Sam!" I defend, not providing any sort of surprise to her. She's been around for years now, and she would be a fool to not understand how I react to any situation. Madison is practically my sister now.

"Just admit it," she says. "He's completely into you and you are falling head over heels for him!"

So much for the 'not telling Madison about my feelings' idea. "I guess." I rub my forehead in doubt, keeping my eyes trained on the merchandise surrounding us. "I mean, I don't know. I've only known him for a few weeks, but I just feel like we clicked, ya know?" I follow Madison's lead, wandering in a loop through the store. She heads toward the exit and pushes through the door, and I hope she's making a beeline for a place with any sort of food. "We went to Walmart at, like, midnight last week." She glances at me with curious eyes, and I know she's yearning for details. I can't just offer information about a guy like that and not give her anything to gush and tease me about. "We talked a lot and had fun messing around," I say, simply summarizing the night.