The Son of Somebody

Son of Apollo

 So, thing is, Apollo? He's a pretty laid back guy. He does his duty and whatever, gets up at dawn every day and goes home at dusk, makes music and writes some pretty rockin' haikus, and generally, just minds his own damn business. No need for any of that crazy stuff up in here, no siree.

But look - He isn't stupid, no matter what his sister might think. Even he can see the tension brewing between Dad and Uncle Poseidon, can see how much of a mess it's making with the mortals down on Earth. And everything has been just slowly escalating, ever since that thing with that girl Tammy or Teresa or whatever it was and a pine tree a few years ago. Someone's gotta do something, or the whole thing is gonna blow out in full out war.

And now, with Dad's favorite lightning bolt missing . . .

Well. Apollo's just gonna say, it doesn't take being the patron god of the Oracle to know that shit's gonna go down hard and fast, real soon.

But to be honest, looking back on it? Apollo almost wishes he'd let it play out, instead of intervene when he did. Everything mighta been a whole lot simpler if he had, the possible destruction of humanity aside.

It goes a little something like this:

Apollo's got his place up on Olympus, yeah, but he's also got this sweet little island out in the Pacific, invisible to mortals - It's got all the privacy he needs to make his music, and none of his family have found it yet (That's a lie, actually - He's pretty sure Athena knows where it is, but that's like, taken for granted at this point. Athena knows everything, and is legitimately scarier than Uncle Hades, no joke.) so it's a pretty cool safe place too, when he needs to get away from the insanity of his immortal life.

(My Immortal Life . . . Cool song title? It's got five syllables, maybe finish out a haiku? Eh, he'll get back to it at some point.)

In any case, he's got a nice place set up there, all the best toys, including, most importantly at the moment, a mega-flatscreen TV, nine-hundred and seventeen inches of Hephaestus HD quality programming.

He's watching the weekly Capture-the-Flag game from Chiron's demigod camp finish up, smirking at the antics of Ares's kid, Claire or Clark or something, and a new kid that must've just rolled in that week. It's always fun to see the kids messing around with each other, crossing swords and pretending to be generals and whatever. What really gets him on the edge of his seat, though, is the hellhound that leaps out of the woods and flat out attacks the new kid, even after the game is already won. Everything turns out mostly okay, of course, but Apollo can't remember the last time Chiron let actual monsters in the forest with the kids, if he ever had.

The thing that tips him off that something's really wrong, though, is when New Kid steps in the water and the wounds just . . . fall off him.

"That's not good." he mutters, as the silent, shocked faces of the demigods on screen seem to agree. He stands, taking an almost involuntary step forward, reaching out a hand to touch the softly glowing television. "That's really not good."

In the back of his mind, he can feel the growing anger of his father, and watches the symbol begin to flicker into life over New Kid's head, who looks up at everyone's staring and tries to swat at it.

Apollo, god of music and poetry, has the perfect summary for the situation:

"Oh, shit."

_ _ _

Chiron bows his head gravely. "All hail," he begins, looking as if he's uttering a death sentence. "Percy Jackson, son of--"

"WAIT!"

Every head in a three mile radius snaps up. Birds spook and take to the sky in one massive fluttering of wings. The ground trembles at the force of the shriek, and Percy, with the confused collective of literally everyone there, blinks.

A man, nearly ten feet tall, appears out of nowhere about fifty feet down the river, and nearly falls on his face in his hurry to run over to them. Out of the corner of his eye, Percy can see those who weren't already kneeling drop to the ground hurriedly and Annabeth staring, wide-eyed and open mouthed. He feels her tug desperately on the hem of his shirt.

"Percy," she says, sounding scared. "Percy."

"Who is that?" he mutters back, swatting at her hand. Before she can answer, Chiron takes an uncertain step forward.

"Lord Apollo!" he calls up as the man comes to a stop in front of them. "While we are, uh, honored by your presence, we are also . . . confused, is perhaps the right word."

The man, Lord Apollo, grins, and Percy squints against the blinding light of his teeth. "Well, isn't it obvious?" the god says, and Percy would be lying if he said he didn't sound a bit anxious. "I'm here to claim my kid, of course."

". . . you're here to what?"

Apollo laughs, loud and almost genuine. He takes three giant steps towards Percy, shrinking down to a normal size as he does. "My kid," he says loudly, swinging an arm around Percy's shoulders that he almost flinches off. "This guy, right here. Uh, Parker, right?"

"Percy." Chiron corrects faintly. He stomps a hoof against the ground and swishes his tail nervously. "But, uh, Lord Apollo-"

"Oh, come on, Chiron," Apollo interrupts. He winks meaningfully, and Percy thinks he was maybe trying to be subtle but missed the mark by about a mile. "We're friends, right? Known each other for a good millennia or two? Call me Apollo, seriously."

"Apollo, then, it's just, we were, Percy was." Chiron swallows, flustered. Percy glances over at Annabeth - If it's possible, she looks even more shocked than before. "You see, it's just . . . Your arrival is a bit, shall we say . . . unconventional, because, ah, Percy here has already been. Um. Claimed."

Apollo leans in, widening his eyes dramatically. "Really? By who?"

"Ah. Your uncle, my lord- uh, Apollo. He's been claimed by Poseidon."

"What?" Apollo gasps, like he's on a bad soap opera. "That can't be right! Because, uh, not only is Peter here--"

"Percy."

"Percy here most definitely my kid, but if my uncle were to have a kid, well, that would be a direct violation of his oath. And I really really doubt that, even if he were to have a kid, he would be going around claiming them, because then his brother, the really powerful king of Olympus who is already in a really bad mood, would probably do something incredibly stupid, like, I don't know, start a war that would likely destroy humanity." Apollo laughs nervously, waggling his eyebrows significantly. "So you see? Pablo-I-mean-Percy is most definitely my kid. Totally."

Chiron, along with everyone else, stares at Apollo. ". . . Right."

Apollo grins, clapping his hands together. "Great! Glad we got that sorted out." He looks around. "Uh, nice seeing you all. It's been fun, really." He glances back towards Chiron. "Isn't this the bit where you do your thing?"

Chiron nods slowly. "I . . . suppose?" He takes a breath, visibly shaking himself.

Percy glances to Annabeth. "What just happened?" he mutters.

She shrugs helplessly, and nods back to Chiron, who's gotten back down on one knee. "I think you've been claimed." she whispers.

"All hail Percy Jackson," Chiron says for the second time that day, a little weakly. "Son of Apollo."

_ _ _ _ _

I exist? 

Uh, yeah, so here is a vaguely crackish thing that may get continued, may not, but that all really depends on you guys. Do you like it, do you hate it, do you have any suggestions, are you just confused, seriously, talk to me. Leave a comment, if you can. If you can't, I guess that's fine too. 

hope to hear from you soon?