Inside The Mind Of A Broken Girl | Bio

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I guess it's always my fault, right?

You asked me if you were the reason why I cut, I said no but honestly, you were the reason for everything. I couldn't bring myself to tell you though. I knew that it would torture you. well guess what? You torture me all by yourself. It was you all along.

The yelling, the snapping, the smoking, pointing fingers at me or my brother because you fucked up, speaking over me when I'm trying to tell you something and wonder why I never talk to you about anything. The fact that you're the most impatient person I've ever met. You are never patient when it comes to me or my brother or anyone in general. You always yell at me for not speaking and make me  shut down and still yell at me after and dismiss me because you can't listen or just wait a few seconds for me to try to say something for the fear of being yelled at. You wonder why I never cry and always cut. Well here's the answer.

You don't here me cry because after two years of good practice, I mastered the art of silent sobbing. When you dismiss me, you  make me feel useless and I hate it. I fucking hate it so much, I isolate myself and contemplate whether I should kill myself then and there. I cut at least twenty times in one go without stopping and it's all for you. You asked me if it was all you that made me cut and guess what, it was! It was all you! All of those cuts were because of you. The yelling, the screaming, the fucking impatience and sometimes, people can't come out with their feelings so we result in self destruction. because nobody we can trust will listen to us. All we need is for someone to listen and not lecture or yell or scream because we said "the wrong thing" or didn't give you the answer you wanted.

Well all I have to say to that is fuck you. You're the reason I'm like this and you're the reason why I'm fucking self mutilating myself. You're the reason why I'm wondering why I'm still alive. It's all you.

and it's always been you...