Amnesia // 5sos

002

I stared back at the boys before me, what exactly was I meant to say. I didn't want to speak to any of them, I didn't even want to be in this car right now. I had felt the pressure from Luke to come though, he was desperate to leave before the fans found them leaving and he seemed desperate to talk to me. This was all too confusing for me to handle.

"Hi." I replied looking down at my hands, the awkward atmosphere surrounding me.

"What are you doing here? We haven't seen you in what a year?" Ashton asked.

"I don't know what I'm doing here. I came to see you guys, I thought that it would be a good idea but it wasn't." I said slowly.

"Why wasn't it a good idea?" Luke asked.

"Well we're not exactly friends anymore." I replied as bluntly as I could.

"Yeah I missed you, we all have." Michael said butting in.

"So why did you just ditch me then? I mean if you missed me as much as you say you do, then surely you would have stayed in contact with me."

My stomach was twisting in knots, I wanted to know why but I also didn't. I wanted to get out of here, I wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep for the rest of the night and all of tomorrow. I wanted space and to just be alone.

"I don't think it's really the right time to talk about this now..." Ashton said slowly.

"Okay. Can you just drop me off here please?" I was trying to keep my cool and stay polite but if they wasn't going to give me any answers then I would rather not be with then at all.

I thought I deserved at least some explanation, why was it so hard to get one. I wasn't asking for the impossible. Unless there was some big bad secret that I wasn't allowed to know, I highly doubted that.

All I wanted right now was to get out of the car and to be by myself.

"You're not getting out of the car!" Luke said almost too quickly.

His words made me think about a summer that we had spent together back in Australia.

"Luke go away!" I groaned shoving his arm away from me.

"Why are you being such a bitch? You told me to come and get you and now you're being moody." Luke said leaning up against the bonnet of his car.

"Yes obviously I couldn't stay on this date with him any longer when he was acting like that but I asked you to not cause a scene when you came and got me but what do you do you cause a scene!" I yelled.

"Whatever Lily, all I did was come and help you. If he hadn't been acting like a total prick when I came in to get you then nothing would have happened."

"Yeah because saying that you're gonna hit him solves everything... You're not like that Luke." I said softly, maybe I had overreacted.

I took a step forward towards Luke, grabbing one of his soft hands and lacing our fingers together.

"I was only trying to protect you." Luke huffed pulling me into his chest and resting his chin on top of my head.

"And I love you for that."

I felt Luke's lips press to the top of my head, making all anger for him completely disappear. I couldn't be mad at him, he was my bestfriend, he was only trying to protect me and I needed him.

The flashback ended and I realised I had been staring blankly directly at Calum who had an equal look of confusion across his face. I could feel my face burning up as I tried to shake it off.

"I uh should go. Please." I stammered.

"Why won't you just let us explain? Just come back to ours for a bit so we can talk then i'll get someone to take you home." Luke said.

Deep down I knew the reason, I could remember it clearly like it was yesterday but it was a mistake. They knew that I didn't mean it, they knew.

The rest of the drive was in silence, we pulled up at their apartment a mere half an hour later, I didn't even want to get out of the car. They all climbed out and I had no choice but to follow them even though I began to walk slowly behind them.

Once inside I wasn't sure what to do, I watched them all look back at me awkwardly, we didn't really even know each other anymore, we had missed out some of the most important parts of each other lives, they had missed some major factors that had happened in my life and I had missed out all of them rising to fame, them recording their first album, everything.

I followed them into the living room and stood in the corner, wrapping my arms around myself for some comfort.

"So... We have all missed you Lily a lot." Calum started off saying.

"You know why we stayed away. You know." Luke said.

I stared down at my feet, it didn't feel like a good enough reason for them to cut all ties with me or maybe I was just being stubborn.

"I didn't mean it. I thought you would no that, it was obvious." I stated matter of factly.

"No it wasn't! We did what we thought you wanted us to do, simple as that. Stop making yourself out to be the victim." Luke said his voice growing louder before he very dramatically stormed out of the room, only seconds later you could hear a door slam presumably from his bedroom.

Amazing. He always handled situations like this, he ran off when he didn't like what was going on. How was anything meant to get sorted out?

"I'm sorry okay?" I said to the rest of the boys.

"We're sorry too okay? Just go talk to Luke, I know for a fact what happened cut him up really bad." Ashton said.

I nodded my head before walking out of the room and going upstairs, there was only one bedroom door which was shut so it was obvious that he was inside.

I pushed the door open slowly, my hear was pounding against my chest, he didn't want to talk to me I knew that but we needed to discuss what had happened before I left.

Luke was sitting on his bed, his face was in his hands and I could see his chest was moving up and down fast and if I hadn't heard the few sniffles I wouldn't have been able to tell that he was crying.

"Luke-" I said my voice beginning to crack.

Luke looked up at me with red, rimmed eyes. This instantly made me feel awful, I hated it when he cried and I hated it even more when I was the reason for it.

I walked over to Luke, sitting in front of him on his bed. I didn't even feel comfortable doing this but we needed to talk.

"You make it out like it was all us, it was your decision not ours we just went along with it, we thought it was what you wanted. It broke me Lily not being able to have my beatfriend but you weren't just my bestfriend you knew you were always more to me. You knew." Luke said tears freely falling down his face.

He looked so defeated, so broken and it was all my fault.

A/N

sorry for the shitty, shitty update. I guess it's a filler idk, the whole of the next chapter will be a flashback so you will find out what actually happened between Lily and the rest of the boys.

Thanks so much for reading please don't forget to vote and comment :)