Positive Mess

Chapter One

First Day of School [Summertime Sadness Remix - Lana Del Rey, Cedric Gervais]

Just a quick fact, this is the song I would listen to before to clear out my mind out of all my problems. But let's move on the that day..

I was in the car with my mother and well I was pretty much nervous and well excuse my language but I was shitting my pants. So many thoughts ran through my head that day and I walked to out of the car to my class. I walked inside my class and everything was going wrong and I just wanted to cry. Why is this happening right now at the worst moment. Why are people judging me? Why are people being mean to me. This is just going to end wrong! I hate it here!

Of course that's not what actually happened. But it was happening in my head. My mother was so concerned for me so she told me if I wanted her to call Aaron's mother and-

Before moving on well Aaron is a guy from a grade upper mine who's mother is my mother's client and well since my imagination is pretty big I imagined a life with him and by that I meant a relationship with him. He also promised my mom he would show me around but he pretty much didn't. Anyways going back..

My mom wanted to call Aaron's mom so he could walk me to school but of course I didn't wanted to bother him and make him realize I was this annoying and nervous. I declined the offer as much as I wanted to say yes. I stayed in my mother's car nervous with the worst thoughts. Sure my mom was a great cheerleader but it wasn't enough to get me out of that car but I finally did. I got out of the car and walked to class. I was looking down, I couldn't look up I was just- you get my point. Nervous.

I sat down in a chair and stayed quiet. There was this one guy next to me and he seemed like those guys who loved drama queens and wanted to be one. I suspected he was gay not gonna lie. I didn't knew what to do. Until the bell rang and this lady started speaking through an intercom

Before I continue I was moved to a catholic school and yes I'm christian but not a lot into that stuff.. and well I was pretty much embarrassed by what was gonna happen next.

Let's just say she started doing some sort of prayers and I knew nothing about it so I tried to pretend I was going along with it but I wasn't I was lost and I knew people noticed. 'Oh my god, I'm gonna get judged' It was the only thing that went through my head at the moment. When this whole situation was over, our teacher started speaking and she called me out. 'Shit why me?' I said in my head and then she got me in front of the class and well she told me to pick someone. I was too shy to pick honestly so I said a number "16" and then the teacher took a list of the students and 16 was this girl named Nova. Then I sat with her and the teacher gave everyone a paper and we had to write what we did in summer. Okay yes I didn't mention a few things I did in summer but hey you don't need to know.. for now.

So this girl Nova was like a blessing to me. She was just wonderful and we actually both had a lot in common so then I'm not gonna say how everything went but only one thing that happened in this class was important. Peter. This one guy. He said hi to Nova and started talking to her and the first thing that came into my mind was "I don't want to be around this guy. He is probably a noob. He must be disgusting. Don't touch me or talk to me." But hey I disliked boys a lot. But then he looked at me and smiled. I was surprised but I didn't smiled back so he turned around.

Anyways for the rest of the day I kept on following Nova. I mean she is the only human in here that I knew that was actually nice. I tried to sit down next to her in most classes but I wasn't as lucky. By the time lunch came I was followed by Rebecca and-

Okay sorry once again, Rebecca volunteered to show me around but she was so excited to do so it was actually creepy. Moving on

And I was just avoiding her. I was pretty much scared of her so when I got to the office my grandma was there. She would bring me food to school since some people told me that the food was horrible. But unfortunately I was unlucky and Rebecca was right there pulling my arm so I could go with her and I felt like I was about to get kidnapped. Yes, I know great opportunity to make friends just not with crazier people than me. Then after I finished eating I gave up and passed lunch time with Rebecca. That's where I met Sabrina who was just Rebecca "best friend". You will later understand why I put the ".

Anyways the day went well expect for the part where Rebecca asked if I had WhatsApp. I completely froze so I stayed quiet and told her that I did after a few seconds. But other than that when I got home I quickly downloaded WhatsApp and texted Cole about my day. He was always there for me and the only person I trusted at the moment. So when WhatsApp downloaded I texted Rebecca and I was also added to this group chat and my first impression of my group wasn't the best. They were fighting. But they asked if I could say hi. So I did. I texted Rebecca a bit. I had also texted Nova but we barely talked

Hours later I got someone's message. The most unexpected person. Peter. Okay yes I thought really bad about him but I knew nothing about him. We talked for a while but he asked the worst question ever. If I was a virgin. What? I thought to myself that this was a huge fuckboy playing with me but for some reason I kept texting him. He seemed to be hitting on me but I wasn't sure.

But one thing was for sure. I was smiling.