Spark // Harry Styles

Chapter VII - Flashbacks

A/N: I know it took me ages to publish this chapter, and I apologize for that, but I simply wanted to make sure it would be just as interesting, realistic and honest as it was in my head. Now, I know it is. For this one I chose the song All I Want by Kodaline because of the deeply sincere lyrics. Make sure you give it a try while reading. Thank you for 5,500 reads and don't forget to comment, vote and even share it with your friends. I hope you are enjoying this story that I love so much to write and that, sadly, is so close to its ending. 

 What if, once we start something, I can never let you go?

 

   When I stepped outside the hospital everything felt different. The air was heavier, filled with this mixture of scents that only suffocated me more. The people around seemed to look at me as if I had committed some sort of crime. As if I was the one to blame for something they didn’t even know. Was that possible? Was I the one to blame? I told myself to keep on walking to as far away from that place as I possibly could. That was only causing me more harm and confusion. Even some guilt.

Please. I want you.

   While walking with no destination in mind, I kept trying to pay attention to the sounds around me, the birds, the voices coming from inside the houses, the cars, all in an attempt to avoid being alone with my thoughts. Because, I wasn’t ready to hear them and I guess, deep inside, I didn’t want to feel even more alone than I already did. But it was inevitable. It’s like everything was a constant reminder of the past hours’ events. Therefore, his words seemed to always find a way to come back. His voice kept following me around, haunting me. But he was not there and I wasn’t ready to deal with his absent presence.

I want so badly to protect you from everything and everyone, but I am the one hurting you in the end.

 

   I didn’t know where I was heading. It was like my feet were somehow disconnected from my brain. As if my decisions didn’t interfere with the path I was taking. I never thought my feet would lead me back to that place, a place I had once visited when he was still with me.

   I stared at the front porch, visualizing the whole scene I had once lived there. How Harry was so nervous about apologizing, but at same time, how the man was so understanding of his incorrect behaviour. I then remembered his clear words to me, ‘every time and again, one lucky boy finds that one girl who will make him a better man.’ I ran to the door before I could even convince myself otherwise. I knocked only one time and a voice shouted from the other side.

   ‘It’s open.’ I entered the house.

   ‘It’s you,’ he said when he saw me but the light in his eyes soon faded as he took in my appearance. ‘What happened?’

You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve you. I never did.

   I moved my face from one side to the other, shaking the memory away, and he brought his hands to his face.

   ‘Where is he?’ he asked, trying to decipher the words racing through my mind.

   ‘He’s dead,’ I whispered and my fists immediately clenched into balls at my sides. I wasn’t ready to admit it. After being speechless for a couple of seconds he finally regained his composure.

   ‘Sit down, I am going to get you something to drink,’ he stated before rushing into the kitchen.

   He brought me tea and gave me a blanket so as to keep me warm. We stayed in silence the whole time, him trying to think about what he could say to make me feel better and me trying not to think at all. When I finished my tea, instead of speaking, he walked over to a shelf and in the middle of a dozen rusty books stood a large silver trophy that he then grabbed.