Roommates

Chapter {34} - Unbreakable.

KIARA'S POV:

"You were good as always, Kiara" Mr. Shreidth said as he tapped on my back.

I smiled and began to put my guitar in it's bag.

"You sure will come to the concert." He began and I didn't reply, still packing my guitar and trying to ignore the question. "Right?" He insisted.

"I don't think so." I mumbled.

"Why? " he questioned and looked sad.

"I can't." I said, not wanting to make him any more sadder.

"Kiara, you know that you're my best students and all I want is for you to be there." He came to me and put his hand on my back as I finished packing and looked at him.

"I know that it should be you instead of Dylan..." He began and as the sound of his name rang in my ears, I shivered and a knife stabbed in my heart. "But he did very well, and got higher grades than you, I couldn't argue the judges and the director of the school that you deserves this."

"I know, it's okay. I will come." I said but as the words came out of my mouth I regretted what I said.

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"What you'll wear?" Tatia said nervous as she rushed into my room.

"It doesn't matter." I said and walked to my bed.

"Kiara, stop it. You know that it does matter and you know very well that Dylan didn't cheat on you." She said and I got so sick from this topic. I looked away from her as she continued while she began searching in my closet.

"I mean come on, I can even count how many times Dylan apologized for you and tried so much to make this right again but you, like a stubborn girl you are, you let him down every single time." She sighed.

"I'm mad Tatia, you know. And I'm more mad at myself than I am at him. Because just the thought that he didn't do anything wrong and me not believing in him is killing me. I'm messed up, hah, all I want is for him to be saying the truth but as a result I can't forgive myself for not trusting him. I'm afraid and I missed him so much it kills me. It's impossible to sleep at night and it's hard to get up the next morning. I have became a dead person." Words came flowing out if my mouth.

"Hey, hey.. It's not your fault, okay?" She grabbed my face and forced me to look into her eyes. "You saw him kissing another girl and that for sure will hit you like a wrecking ball. So don't blame yourself and don't blame him if he hadn't done anything. Just make it right, get back these wasted days."

Maybe it wasn't exactly my fault, maybe it was fate or destiny wanted us to grow apart a little, maybe God wanted us to know how to not take anything or anyone for granted. And maybe I did, at that time, I did took him for granted, I never thought about the future when I saw him kissing that girl, I didn't thought about why it would feel without him in my life. I didn't know the ocean I was swimming in held this strong wave called emptiness as it roughly came at me and drowned me into the unknown, into a dark place.. A place where no one should visit or live in.

In these past days, I was a walking dead. Yes, I was breathing, I was eating, I was walking but I was only surviving and not living. And that's not a life, you can't call a surviving a real life, cause it's not. Life is not meant to be about surviving, you don't come into this world to only survive. You have to taste the food while you are eating it, you have to feel the wind blows as you walk on the street, you have to feel the sun burns your skin as you jog in a hot day, you have to enjoy the music not just understand the sad lyrics.

I, on these days, I just survived and barely lived. I'm walking down a dark tunnel, hoping that I would someday a light in the end of it would appear and it would shine my life a little. I hope that a light will find myself into my life, I hope that the sun will rise after these dark days to brithen my life.