After spending some much needed girl time with Angela, Joe was there in a hour like he promised to pick me up. I waved goodbye to Josh who was behind the counter who waved back and of course Grayson sent me a wink. Shaking off the familiar feeling in my gut I got, I headed outside to jump back into Joe's truck.
The ride home was the same as the ride to Gilmore's, filled with horrible singing and tons of laughter. After about 15 minutes we pulled into Joe's two story house that we inherited from dad.
My dad works a lot over seas in Italy so we hardly ever see him. When my mother and him had gotten divorced he took it pretty hard, submerging himself in his work trying to forget. Besides the occasional wad of cash, phone call and this house I really don't talk to him. Of course I love my dad, he's the better parent of the two, but I just wish that he was here to spend more time. Maybe if he was here I wouldn't have had to leave for Florida.
Joe opens the door the the yellow house and we enter. Everything about the house hadn't changed from the last time that I had been there. The kitchen was still spotless, the living room's huge sofa was in the middle of the room with the flat screen TV mount up on the wall and the house still smelt of lavender. If you couldn't tell already, Joe isn't a typical slob of a guy, he likes to keep his things clean but he's not OCD or a clean freak or anything like that.
I drop my suitcase by the wooden spiral stairs and really take in the place. I hadn't spent much time here, usually living with my mom, but there had always been something about this house that felt like home more than any other place.
"You know mom called and asked about you." I turn around to see Joe take his key out of the lock and close the door.
Just the thought of that lady make my stomach turn. Your mom is supposed to be the person you turn to, the one who makes everything alright to tuck you in at night. Whenever I think of mother I think of a reason to why I am the way I am now.
"Do you have any idea how many calories that is Bella? You need to fit into that uniform we can't have a muffin top spilling over it now can we?"
She's right. Stop eating so much, you're too fat.
"We spent hours and hours and money after money on your dancing and you suck that bad. Why didn't you get the first place trophy!? Why can't you do anything right?"
Push yourself, nothing but dance 24/7. Be the best you can be and satisfy everyone. You HAVE to be the best.
"Bella you useless piece of shit, how could you ever amount to anything?"
I'M TRYI....
"BELL!" Joe snaps me out of another one of my daydreams, "Did you hear a word that I just said?" Joe hovers over me with a worried look on his face not sure where to put his hands to comfort me. I noticed that my breathing is rapid and my head is pounding. Taking a deep breath I use the technique that Dana taught me.
1......2......3.......4......5
Taking another deep breath I manage to answer, "No," my voice coming out as a shaky mess.
"I said that Mom asked about you and that she wants to see you soon." I could tell that Joe was more cautious about what he was saying, enunciating each. word slowly as though I was a little kid who couldn't understand.
"No Joe, I'm not going to see her." I snap. I cringe at the harshness in my voice regretting being so short with Joe. He has done nothing but help me, but the thought of seeing my mother brings out the worst side in me.
"Sorry." I mumble looking at my feet.
"It's okay, I know Bella. But one day you're going to have to face her. We might not technically live with her but she's still your legal guardian."
"She's a dead beat mother Joe and you can't deny it."
Sighing Joe stops the conversation there because he knows it's going nowhere. His face is contorted like he wants to say more but he knows that he shouldn't. I'm most definitely not going to budge on seeing mom, he's getting nowhere.
He opens his mouth to say something but ends up sighing again and shaking his head.
"I'll just head upstairs Joe and go to sleep I have a long day tomorrow." I turn to my left and start to head up the white spiral stairs.
"Wait Bell, you know I love you to death right? I don't mean to pester you about mom I'm just trying to do the right thing."
I swerve on my heel mid tracks up the stairs at the sincerity in Joe's voice. I immediately feel really bad about being such a bitch about mom. He was just trying to help and I take all my frustrations out on him.
Sighing I look at him,"I know Joe I'm sorry just the thought of dealing with her so soon got to me. Like I just got here I'm not ready for all the drama yet."
He nods his head understanding where I was coming from. You get why he's so amazing?
"Oh and I love you too Joseph." Joe flashes me a smile at the sound of that and I return it. "Now good night I'm really going to bed." I turn around and continue up the rest of the stairs
"Night bell"
I arrive at the last door on the right and turn to handle. I haven't been in this room in over a year maybe even more because I used to live mostly with my mother.
The walls are still purple from when my dad had it painted last time and my white canopy bed still lays by the window. My computer sits on the desk and my closet is filled of clothes from my moms house. Joe is literally a life saver.
Sighing I go to the bathroom to take a shower to relieve my muscles from the long flight here and free my mind of the thoughts of Mom. Being in the shower always clears my mind from any troubles that I've had before. I take my iPod and hook it up to my iHome dock and blast some dance worthy music.
After my much needed shower I get out wrap myself in a towel and use another to towel dry my hair.
I go to the mirror to brush my long dirty blonde hair. I'm Italian but my moms part polish which gave me this wonderful mix of dark and blonde hair from both sides. Having curly hair can be a blessing and a curse at times.
Setting my brush down I stop and really look at myself in the mirror. Joe is right my eyes are a somewhat brighter blue that what they were before and my bags are not that prominent. Before I literally got no sleep.
I've gained a lot of weight too. Well not like a who bunch of unhealthy weight this was good weight. Before you could see my ribs protruding out of my stomach and I looked malnourished. Now I'm plumper and my thighs touch (which is something some girls would cringe at but I'm learning to accept it.)
Turning away from the mirror I go to the drawer and pull out my black shorts and tank top to sleep in. School is tomorrow, a place I've literally been dreading the most. Coming back had it's ups and does and school is certainly a big drop.
Will Lucas be there? Would he try to speak to me?
I go to sleep and prepare for the long day back at my own personal hell.
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Another chapter of character development! The next chapter I promise there will be more of Grayson!! :)
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I'm With You
Teen FictionBella was a girl who had it all. She was the best dancer at her high school, she had good grades, had the two best of friends anyone could as for and a seemingly perfect gorgeous boy by her side. But what happens when the people who a...
