High School {Dear Chill Heathers}

Chapter 4

(McNamara's POV)

"No, you can't do this again!" at this point I'm yelling at myself, staring at myself in the mirror and holding the meds.

I am so scared and I have nowhere to turn. I am dating a wonderful girl named Christine. She is beautiful inside and out, her soft red hair compliments her vivid blue eyes, and her personality is perky and sweet. She is the one person I couldn't possibly live without. She's stopped many of my impulses over this summer, and I am so thankful I get to date someone as caring as her.

Then there's Heather Duke. She is a total jerk, and she doesn't deserve anyone as good as me, according to Christine. She was my 'friend' last year, but Veronica helped me realize that she didn't actually care. She is absolutely beautiful, short black hair and smooth skin, but her soul is absolutely rotten. But somehow, I think that she is a nice person behind that, and I am curious to see if I can open her up. So here I am, debating about whether I should text her and ask her out.

And that's why the meds are in my hand. I already have Christine, and I deserve so much better than Duke, but I'm still being torn about by this decision. Ending it all is so much easier... "STOP!" I scream to myself in the mirror, at this point I'm red from crying so much. "Call Christine," I tell myself, but I know I can't because she'll ask why I'm this torn apart, and I couldn't bring myself to tell her about this. I find myself picking up the phone and dialing in Duke's number.

"What do you want, dork!? I'm out on a date and a freak like you interrupts it!" she practically yells at me, but she quickly mumbles, "Sorry." I'm not sure if it's for her date or me, but I still am upset about how negatively she reacted to my call.

"I, uh, can we talk? OrifyouarebusywithyourdateIcancallback-"

"No, we can't talk, and I'm not gonna call you back! We're not friends and I don't have to deal with any of your problems!" she abruptly hung up after that.

"You idiot, why did you think that she would care about you!" I scream into the mirror. So easy just to swallow a few of these... I hold a small handful of pills to my mouth, then get a text Christine.

TheatreNerd: hey I have a showcase this Sunday for some scenes I've been working on for a month or so. Could u come?

YellowHeather: sure thx for the invite

TheatreNerd: course babe ly

YellowHeather: lyt

My hand slowly typed "lyt" and I realized that I couldn't swallow those pills. I was satisfied by picking up a razor. I popped out a blade, then pulled up my shirt and down my skirt, so that my hips were exposed with my shorts still on. I dragged the blade slowly against my hipbone, and I whimpered. As the blood trickled down, I grabbed a wad of paper towels and brushed away the blood. On my other hipbone, I traced one of my scars, creating a deeper gash than if I just cut where a scar wasn't. I continue until there were about 4 lines on either hipbone. Satisfied with that, I cleaned off the counter before my mom came home.

(Martha's POV)

It's already Thursday, and I haven't really been able to talk to Veronica all week, weird, I usually have tons of free time. Well, after first period, I shot her a text to see if we could eat lunch together and catch up.

MagicalMartha: hey where r u?

DeadGirlWalking: outside on a bench why

MagicalMartha: im coming to eat lunch with u, got some exciting stuff to talk about

DeadGirlWalking: ooh yay well go out to the amphitheater im by the apple tree

I grab my lunch box and go out to find her staring at her phone and smiling. "What's up Martha!" she greets me by standing up and hugging me, then pulling me onto the bench and resting her head on my shoulder.

"Hey V! I have some exciting news, but first tell me who you were texting before I got here," I said, and she turned a slight shade of pink.

"J-just my friend Zoe."

"Friend?" I raise my eyebrow while saying it.

"Er, uh, crush, maybe?"

"Ha, I knew it, that's so adorable!!" I was so relieved that for once she wasn't still hung up on JD.

"Yeah," she says smiling.

"Well what I was gonna say was that Jared and I are going out tomorrow!"

"Ooh, yay, you're so lucky!"

"I know, he's so funny and sweet and he cares, it's so cute!"

"Well, I'm really happy for you Martha, let me know how it goes right after you guys finish up tomorrow."

"I will V, and good luck with Zoe, she seems great for you!" Zoe is this super sweet girl, and she is almost perfectly pretty. Her cheeks are naturally rosey, her hair is a luscious blonde, and her eyes are a beautiful hazel. She would be perfect for Veronica, she really knows how to balance peoples' emotions.