#Wattys2017 - A Glimpse of Freedom

Chapter Three - Marvin Straussberg

Cycles. What are they? The dictionary tells me that they are a series of events regularly repeated in the same order, but it has no mention that cycles seem to happen so subconsciously. I realized that, albeit too late for my own good. I thought about it for a long while and finally decided that it was time for me to stop sitting around and break the cycle. I remembered Jenny not liking the idea, however, and decided it would be the best not to tell her. Not until everything is finalized.

I was at work when I came up with the conclusion. I was looking around and saw Daisy Miller and thought for a while. She'll end up falling under the same cycle too, a kind, beautiful girl falling into a degrading cycle. Maybe I'll take her with me. I wonder what Jenny would think, I doubt she would approve. I doubt she would approve of anything I do. I doubt she'll care about me in the end though, I couldn't help her with her addiction. Maybe someone else can, but it's not me.

I shouldn't get ahead of myself. Jenny loves me. I'll go home and tell her that we're going on vacation somewhere, maybe then she'll agree. I'll tell her while we're out why we've gone. She'll be so happy, we can go somewhere together. Maybe if I can convince her, we won't have to come back.

I race home in my car, speeding down the empty streets and three kilometers above the limit this time. I arrive home and find that Jenny had just cracked open a can of beer. I got home in time and poured the beer down the drain. She wasn't happy, but it's for the best. I hate seeing her so unhappy when I do this, it just shows me how dependant she is on the alcohol. I need to get her to quit. Maybe a vacation really will help her, let her see the beauty of the world.

We talked about it for a long while, and to my surprise Jenny was more than happy to go on vacation. We decided on Hawaii, as she had told me that she had always wanted to visit. I'm really looking forward to the trip, I booked two tickets for next week and we immediately started packing. Jenny was so excited, it's almost like she forgot about the alcohol. I'm hoping it helps her, makes her realize that there's more to life than a child.

The two of us went to sleep with a kiss and a smile on our faces. I slept with ease and woke up refreshed. Jenny was already awake at the time and gave me a kiss and packed me a lunch. I thanked her for being so thoughtful and drove off to work.

I walked to my boss, Joey, and asked him about my vacation days. He said I didn't have any vacation days. He told me I took a week off in February to go to my mother's funeral. I sighed and walked out of my room and continued working until the day was over. It wasn't until my drive home that I realized what "no vacation days" really meant; I wouldn't be able to go out to Hawaii with Jenny. I'd already booked the tickets, too.

I was incredibly frustrated when I got home. Jenny greeted me, at the door this time, but I just fell into her open arms.

"Jenny.." I say. The conversation already felt like it was starting on a bad note, like the one about going to the countryside.

Jenny immediately picked up on my disappointing tone. "Yes, Marv?" she asked, and her warm voice made my heart sink.

"I used all of my vacation days back in February, back when ma died." I say, feeling defeated.

Jenny didn't say anything. I could see tears welling up in Jenny's eyes and I felt horrible. She continued to smile but she seemed to know I could see she wasn't happy.

"Jen, you can go with one of your friends if you'd like." I say, hoping it would make her feel a little better.

The tears began to fall on Jenny's face and as I wiped away the tears, she began to smile and nodded. "I shouldn't be crying about this," Jenny said wistfully, and her eyes began to light up again. "I'll ask one of the girls if they want to go with me."

I smile back at Jenny. "You do that, and you two have a great time while you're out, okay?" I say.

The day continued like it normally would. Jenny and I watched her soap opera, Jenny made dinner, we went to sleep. Despite the news we both were happy at the end of the day. The cycle was back and there seemed to be no escaping it for me, but Jenny is happy. She'll be happy to go with her friends because she finally gets to go out and be happy for more than just an evening.

Before Jenny and I went to bed, I heard her crack open a can of beer. I heard two mores and went to see what was going on to make sure she wasn't drinking too fast. I saw her dump a couple of beer cans into the sink. Maybe some things do change for the better. I haven't felt myself smile so much in ages, second only to the day Jenny and I got married. I just hope that dumping out the alcohol won't make her want more.