The sounds of the hospital had become apart of my daily routine. The doctors were miraculously able to keep Jenny alive. Jenny, however, was still in deteriorating condition. Something inside me knew that she wasn't going to make it. I wanted to believe in her, I really did, but I just couldn't. It wouldn't really matter, though. I couldn't stay faithful to her, and now she's dying. It's just apart of some sort of twisted punishment meant to burn a hole in my heart.
Somehow, I feel as if this may be just what I needed. Jenny was a shackle to me, in a way. With her out of the way, I would be able to move on. I'd be able to fulfill my aspirations. The chains of marriage would hold me down no longer with Jenny gone. I love her, I truly love her, but I can't help but wonder, would life be better without her? I can't say for certain, because I can't imagine life without her. I'm curious, however - maybe Jenny dying wouldn't be the worst thing.
I'm zapped back to reality when I hear the door to the ICU open. A doctor steps out with a grim face to a teenage girl who has been waiting in the room since before I had even come here. I cannot make out what the doctor tells the girl, but the tears and distressed expression of the girl is able to tell me the basics - someone has died.
In a way, the girl is in the same boat as me. We've both been waiting here an awful long time. Both of us have been fighting back the urge to release all that stress from our situations in one big cry. Unfortunately, she has succumbed. I decide to do what all humans do best - comfort one another. I approach her and sit next to her and attempt to sympathize with the poor girl.
"The beeping here is really harmonic, you know. Puts you to a nice sleep before you even realize it." I say, attempting to begin a conversation.
The girl, of which seemed to be in a reality of her own, does not respond. She wipes away a tear.
"I can see that you're going through a hard time right now," I continue, "and I want you to know that I understand your pain. My wife is in that room, right now, and she's lying in that bed. She's dying, dear." My voice cracks a bit. The girl, again, does not respond, but she seems as if she's entered reality.
"I suppose you don't want to hear an old man's babbling," I say, "but I want you to know that you aren't the only one who is suffering. The suffering, however, is what will bring us all to our best point. It'll make us realize our lives, what we want. It'll make us realize what we need to do. That's why we suffer."
I hadn't seemed to provoke her to any form of thought, however I did provoke myself into some. Was the best course of action to wait here for Jenny? Wait for her to die, to experience the heartbreak of her death? Should I really be waiting here for her?The thought of Jenny's beautiful face pops into my mind. I remember our wedding, our anniversary, and all the lovely times we had together. However, it seemed that with all the good times we had, misfortune followed, and swiftly. After our wedding, we learned that Jenny was unable to have children. After our anniversary, Jenny took up drinking. And after I was able to send Jenny on the trip to Hawaii she had always wanted to go on, she fell, and now she's rotting away in a hospital bed. Is there really a point in me staying with her?
I get up and walk to the doors to the ICU. Maybe seeing her face one more time would remind me of why I haven't left. I'm stopped by the receptionist, however. I'm not allowed in the ICU at the moment - visiting hours are over. This cannot just be a coincidence - something is telling me not to go see her, and so I don't.I leave the hospital, get in the car, and drive away.

YOU ARE READING
#Wattys2017 - A Glimpse of Freedom
Teen FictionHow much would you give up for freedom? My first novel. Criticism is appreciated. Updated whenever I feel like writing. Also, if you really like it, a comment would be appreciated! :)