Unfortunate Events

Event Six: The Ersatz Elevator

Hermione was navigating the halls of the Ministry, heading straight back to her office. Nose stuck in one of her files, she dutifully ignored the bitter faces and mean-spirited whispers of her coworkers. She had been right in predicting the jealous backlash for getting a new office and promotion.

She liked to think she was likable enough. No one else in the Ministry seemed to have a problem with her, just the people in her department. Not that she should care. She was too mature to worry about such petty office politics. After all, she worked just as hard, if not harder than any of them. And if they disliked her without even giving her a chance, then she didn't really want to be friends with them anyway. Still, as often as she repeated this to herself, she hated being disliked and excluded. It was like the beginning of Hogwarts all over again.

Well, at least her office was nice. Quickening her pace, she made a beeline for her little sanctuary. Actually, it was quite spacious and thanks to a recent charm, alternated between smelling like new parchment, falling rain, freshly baked cookies, and hot chocolate. Turning the corner, she could see it, shining like a beacon of light at the end of the dark tunnel that was the Ministry's hallway.

Only sixty more feet.

Fifty.

Forty.

Thir—

"Miss Granger!"

Goodbye, Happy Place. Hello, office of Philip Stodge, slowest man in England and head of accounting for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.

Having already passed Stodge's office, Hermione backpedaled, peering just around the door frame. Perhaps he just wanted to pass on a short message. Please, let it be short.

"Yes, Philip?"

"Miss Granger, I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that..." He trailed off, seemingly looking for something.

No longer able to avoid entering his office, Hermione dragged herself through the door.

"Ah ha, here it is!" The slightly balding man stared through the frames of his green glasses, which were precariously perched at the end of his thin, long nose. In his hands he now clutched a five page document, which if the way he was blinking at it, he did not understand.

Hermione inwardly died. Just a little. This was going to take longer than she thought.

Forcing herself not to tap her foot, she leaned against the front of his desk, waiting.

"Alright, let's see... It seems Draco Malfoy of one Malfoy Industries owes our department..."

He raised his finger to his mouth, lightly wetting it before using it to turn the page.

"...One hundred galleons for fines incurred due to activity off the coast of India..."

Hermione waited as Stodge performed his page-turning ritual once again. Really! It was like wading through molasses.

"...which has now been increased to two hundred galleons due to the fact that the collection date has passed..."

Hermione smiled, remembering Malfoy's generous "donation" to the house elves. Normally, she would have felt guilty, but it wasn't like he was hurting for money. The Ministry had let the Malfoy family keep their fortune. In fact, the only thing they had done was put Lucius under house arrest for three years, with the provision that he could not practice magic until he was free.

Stodge was slow, but she didn't think it had touched his mental faculties. She was beginning to reconsider. Trying to keep the impatience from seeping into her voice, she said, "Just owl Malfoy and tell him to come pay his fines. Simple as." Hermione said.