abyss → kai parker [discontinued]

11 | the calm

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why am I so scared,

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It was well into the night when the two had the shopping packed away, Elise immediately crashing onto one of the sofas, her head handing off the seat cushion and her hair falling down onto the ancient rug. Kai sparked a fire in the fireplace, rubbing his eyes as if to attempt to get rid of the tiredness that clung to him. He crashed shortly after, falling down on the couch opposite Elise and taking in the blazing heat from the fire. Their conversation from earlier that day crossed his mind.

"We could look for more loopholes." He paused, knowing everything he was saying was pointless. "We do have all the time in the world."

Elise glanced at Kai through blurry eyes, she hummed.

"True."

It fell silent after that, Elise fixed herself on the couch to a better position and soon fell into a light sleep, breathing slower and her face flushing from the amount of blood rushing to her head.

Kai picked his nails, hyper aware of the way her face resembled someone he once knew. He stared at her pale face, then her brunette curly hair, and then her rose lips; eventually tearing his eyes away before he revisited a dark place. Kai's heart fell heavy, and he edged the black abyss he liked to call his past - she resembled her so much, how?

The night wind wailed in the crooks of the old house, and the fire crackled wildly. A solemn seemed to hang around Kai as he sat chewing the skin on his fingers, cross legged on the couch.

He liked Elise, more than he would admit to himself at that moment; yet it didn't seem specifically romantic. Kai wanted to care about her, so badly, yet his self-doubt and rabbit hole of a mind held him back from wanting to get close. They connected in ways words couldn't describe, how could two puzzle pieces fall into the exact same location in space and times so perfectly?

The memories of him slamming her against her old truck and letting something monstrous out of its cage haunted him, it filled him with a deep feeling of regret. But didn't care when it first happened, it was an uncontrollable accident is what he'd tell himself. But then she forgave him, she held the heart inside of her to forgive a monster for nearly killing her, that fact alone turned something in Kai he had only felt once before.

At first he wanted her to dislike him, he wanted their experience in their prison world to be as acquaintances, a working relationship with only one goal - to get out. That's how Kai thought their relationship would work, not having the ability to form a friendship for as long as he had stunted his knowledge in connections with people. He hadn't even realised she had crept under his skin until he began to recognise the low lying urge to tear up the entire world they where in, just for the chance he might find something to help her get out. Her white smile and crystal blue eyes, shone with an purity someone that had been through what she had shouldn't have, but Kai didn't even know half of it, he didn't know the half she had even tried to forget herself.

Kai stood up after a few minutes of telling himself not to what he was about to do, his sleep deprived thoughts throwing ration out of the window - he crept over to the sleeping girl, completely on auto-pilot, gripping one hand behind her shoulders, the other under the backs of her thighs, he pulled her up against his body. Elise woke up immediately of course, but she wouldn't let it show. Never had she been so close to someone that didn't want to hurt her, and made her stomach feel warm.

Kai carried her close to his chest, painfully aware of how light she was and Elise's breathing tickled his shirt, hearing his heart beating against her ear unlocked a feeling deep in her gut. Sleep still clung to her body, so she lay in a state of half-asleep and half-awake, so it hadn't even occurred to her that maybe this level of interaction shouldn't have been happening.