the morning after

"a letter, not a poem"

dear aubrey,

i miss you. how are you? i miss you do you miss me too? i'm sorry, that was a little too blunt. i think you know how much you've hurt me. you lit a light under my arms and lifted my toes. you made me feel like we were the only ones in the universe. us against the world. or space in this matter. i loved you. at least those were the words you shoved down my throat. you slapped the hearts in my face. left a rash. i thought it was the red paint from your hearts. not your rough hands against my skin.

but then you suddenly got up and left. what did i do wrong? i liked being stuck in traffic, slowly on our way to a bad road. now you can't even look me in the face.

that's how pathetic we are; we can't even be pathetic together.

i've been drowning in your blood. does that mean nothing? it has to mean something.

come back. i'd rather hurt with you then hurt for you. i'd rather knelt on my knees with you then stand alone. i know you left for the better but i want the worse. let's be bad again.