Scars

Scar #1

Heaven's P.O.V

I am currently in my dressing room waiting for Markus, my boyfriend/ one of my well trusted friends. Hinihintay ko siya dahil sasabay ako sa kanya papunta sa set ng Magandang Buhay dahil ipropromote namin yung new projects namin.

Dahil bored ako, I decided to read comments from my recently posted IG pics. A lot were comments from my fans but if maraming fans ibig sabihin marami ding bashers.

A lot of you know me as Heaven Peralejo, the girl from PBB. The maarte one, the btch, the higad and all other mean stuff. Well you guys don't know me personally to call me those things and you don't know the pain of what I am going through. But you know what? I just won't care and keep staying positive about life.

Going back to the story, a lot of the comments were good like "ang ganda naman ni Heaven." "How to be you po?" And a lot more that really touches my heart and I thank everyone for that.

But hindi rin mawawala ang mga masasakit at masasama na comments gaya ng:

"Heaven ng ang mukha pero ang ugali hell."

"Everytime nakikita ko si Hell sunasama ang araw ko. Kahit manalo ako sa lottery makita lang ang hell na yan mababad trip na ako."

"Sana panindigan niya ang pangalan niyang Heaven at maging isang anghel naman siya. Hindi yung landi lang ng landi sa kung sino ang makita niya."

"Ang plastic niya. Kung ilagay mo siya sa ilalim ng araw matutunaw lang siya sa kaplastican niya."

And a lot more mean things that hurt me right in the heart. To be honest I shouldn't care about these but, they've gone way too far and I can't handle all this pain anymore. I want to let it all out. At may tama akong solusyon para diyan.

I turned my phone off and went to the bathroom and locked myself there. I unrolled the long sleeves of my off shoulder and got my make up wipes to remove all the foundation, concealers and everything that I use to cover my pain, revealing all the wounds slowly turning into scars that reminds me of all the pain I've felt.

I grabbed a sharp blade that I always hide in the closet behind the mirror and looked for a place in my arm that was free of fresh cuts or at least had scars that are fading. When I found the perfect spot I began gliding the blade across my skin.

Sa ginawa ko, nakikita ko lahat ng panghuhusga ng mga ibang tao sakin flow out in the form of blood. Sa ginagawa ko, feel ko yung ko lahat ng masasakit na salita na pinagsasabi sa akin ay mawawala lang by feeling another type of pain, physical pain.

I was about to make more cuts when I heard Markus from outside the door.

"Heaven, asan ka? What are you doing? Heaven?!" Every word he says I can hear panic growing and growing and I hear a step come closer to the door and before I know it, I see him open the door with a spare key he kept.

Markus' P.O.V

I am outside of Heaven's dressing room when I notice she's not answering to my knocks. So, I just went in because the door was unlocked. When I went in I saw that no one was around so I just sat patiently when I saw her phone.

I decided to unlock her phone and maybe see what she was up to before she left it on the table.

Pagkabukas ko ng phone niya I instantly saw all the comments she received from her post and instantly started panicking because I know that she is up to no good right now.

Heaven's P.O.V

"Heaven! Anong ginagawa mo?" Tanong niya na natataranta at may pag aalala.

"This is the only way I know the remove all the pain I'm feeling right now." Sabi ko sa kanya.

"Gusto mo bang magpakamatay?!" Sabi niya habang naghahanap ng first aid kit.

"Kung pwede lang sana."

"Stop! That won't help anyone. Not even yourself." He said while opening the kit.

"It will. It will help a lot of people. Everyone saying I'm Hell will get what they want. Everyone saying that I should just leave and never come back will be very happy."

"They are selfish people! Depriving you from your happiness and you're showing them that you are giving them exactly what they want!" Sabi niya habang hinuhugasan lahat ng fresh cuts. "I should not see you with that blade again or let alone anything sharp. You should stop cutting!"

"Who are you to tell me that?! You don't know what I feel!"

"Yes I don't know what you feel but I know its not a good enough reason to kill yourself!" Sabi niya while adding medication to my wounds "And I am your boyfriend and I have every right to tell on you because I love you enough to teach you. And it hurts me so much every time you do these."

"Yah I bet it hurts much more than how I'm hurting." I said sarcastically.

"You know what? Why don't I demonstrate to you how bad it hurts so that you'll feel all the pain I feel every time you do this." And with what he said kinuha niya yung blade niya and made slices on his arm.

Witnessing the person I care about and love so much cut himself made me cry. I felt pain that I have never felt before. Ang sakit hindi ko maexplain. And to think that he feels this every time I cut made me realize things.

"Tama na! Please stop. This is torture!" Sabi ko sa kanya and he stopped cutting and like me, I saw that he was also crying.

"Now remember the pain you felt every time you think you want to cut. Thats how I feel and everyone else around you feels when you do this." He said sincerely. "I love you and Im always here for you. Keep that in your mind." He said as he kissed me in my forehead.

I just nodded and replied a simple 'I love you too.'

I cleaned his cuts and put medicine on them and while doing those things, I was starting to calm down.

I decided to retouch my make up both on my face and on my arm and rolled the sleeve of my off shoulder down. I went out of the restroom and saw that Markus was getting rid of all the sharp objects and blades in my dressing room.

When we finished, we went out and walked to the studio where we will be filming.

After all that happened, I will try my best not to cut again. Not just for me but for Markus and everyone that loves me.

A.N waw that was intense for a first chapter... sana magustuhan niyo po to hahahaha. And sorry for typos I will edit it some other time kasi its getting late na din eh... so yah byeeee please share this book to other Markven fans 💕