the doorman » a.i au

eleven; "you'll always be my klumsy."

“Can I come in?” I bit my lip, unsure of my words and the fact that I decided to come here at all.

“No, but I’ll give you,” Sara paused to check her watch, “5 minutes. Talk.”

I stared at her in disbelief and the glare that welcomed me moments ago stayed. She didn’t move a muscle, she just continued holding the door with one hand and used the other to tap her watch, signaling the time to me.

“What do you mean talk? As far as I’m fucking concerned, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’ve been neglecting me and you know it, K.”

“You sound like a toddler who needs to be babysat 24/7. We’re fucking 19, Sara, maybe you need to realize that. You’re acting as if I weren’t allowed to have other friends.”

“Don’t you get it? It’s not about you having any other bloody friend. My problem is that you’ve stopped making an effort to come over or do the things we used to do,” her volume increased with every word she spoke.

I mentally scoffed. She couldn’t be serious.

“How was I to come over when all you do is indirectly insult a friend of mine? Just two weeks ago you were laughing at how unsure he is of his future. That crossed the line and you knew that, Sara Knowles.”

She flinched at her full name. She knew I would only say it when I was extremely pissed. She paused for a few seconds, inhaling deeply. As she exhaled, she opened her eyes and softened her expression. And that made me nervous – she was never one to get mad and calm down within the same minute. It usually took her hours, or a few drinks, until she’d cool down.

“Be honest with me. Is he a better friend that I am?”

“No, but-“

“No buts, Kara,” she hissed. Right there and then, I was no longer nervous. I was scared shitless. To be frank, Sara hadn’t been the same lately and I couldn’t tell her things I had told Ashton. I couldn’t even rant to her about school because she would always talk to me in a tone so cold it beat the chilly weather. I felt unwelcomed with her; with Ashton, it felt as if he would always be there to greet me with open arms whenever I needed someone to talk to.

“He’s been there for me, okay? Lately, it felt as if you-“

For the second time that day, she cut me off. “So choose. Ashton or me?”

Her expression mirrored that of a vulture out to get its victim – ruthless, persistent and strong-willed. I pinched myself slightly, making sure this wasn’t a dream or rather, a nightmare. My lips started to tremble. But I shed no tear. I couldn’t shed any tear.

“Why are you doing this? This really isn’t necessary, S. Don’t be immature, come on. You’ve been my best friend for the past 6 years, are you willing to throw that away just because I’ve gotten a new friend? Just because of jealousy? What has gotten over you?”

“Look, this isn’t about my jealousy. He changed you, Kara. The Kara I know would have chosen me over anyone – even Alec, if you were still together – in a heartbeat. What happened to her? I can’t be friends with you without worrying about a competition like him every second you’re not here. So choose,” she repeated.

“Ashton,” I whispered ever so softly with a heavy heart. It was no use weighing my options. I didn’t want to throw away our friendship but seeing the possessive and jealous part of Sara seriously made me consider my choices. If I had ever thought I knew Sara inside and out, I was clearly wrong.