Suicide thoughts (sterek)

Chapter 3( deep af)

Warning: suicidal tendencies, wants death,a hell of a lot of crying, heart hurt for stiles and Derek, broken stiles.

A couple hours later Derek had decided to make stiles another healthy, homemade meal. He needed to eat it, Derek had to be sure of that.

Stiles had fallen asleep on the sofa once again, curled into a small,frail looking ball as he hugged himself in his sleep, protecting himself from the the monsters of his own dreams.

Derek felt bad for him, so so bad and he also blamed himself for what stiles had turned into.

Stiles was in the worst place he could be right now and derek wondered what would've happened if he didn't come back when he did, he was scared of what would've happened.

He was so god damn scared that he would've done something he would've regretted and he was scared about how mentally stable stiles was, he wasn't an idiot, he knew he was in a terrible mental state.

He had been contemplating sending stiles to see a therapist. He had mentioned it earlier as a threat to stiles when he wouldn't eat but he knew he needed stiles to go, wether he was eating or not but he saw how scared stiles was when he had mentioned it. He didn't want to have to do that to stiles and he knew stiles would be angry at him, very angry and very sad because that would mean he father would most certainly find out and stiles did not want that to happen. Derek didn't know what to do and his mind was running with the different scenarios but he knew it would be better for stiles to see a therapist.

He decided he would leave it for now and give it more to thought later.

As he took the meal he had prepared of chicken, lettuce and cheese sandwich over to the living room table. He placed it down on the desk and turned to look at stiles who was still asleep.

He looked at the boy and his eyes glazed over with a look of sadness and sorrow. He looked so fragile, so broken and Derek wanted to put the pieces of his life back together and make sure they never ever broke again. Stiles' hair was ruffled in a way that looked like he constantly been running his skinny fingers through it, parking it in many different directions and he cheekbones were so prominent from the lack of food he had been eating. Even with the stuff stiles was going through at the moment he was still beautiful, so so beautiful and he always would be, no matter what happened and Derek wanted stiles to know that, he wanted him to know just how amazing and beautiful he really was and hoped he would understand this and stop putting himself through so much suffering. He knew stiles thought of himself as disgusting and vile, he could smell the self hatred on the boy and it pulled at the strings of his heart. He had already decided him and stiles were going to have a long, thorough conversation about every single thing that had happened in the time he left because he wanted to understand, understand why he would do that to himself.

After what must've been minutes of Derek mentally arguing with himself he decided to wake stiles up for the food.

He lent forward and slowly placed a hand on the small of his back and another on his arm, shaking he so gently as he was scared to frighten him. After a few seconds of gentle shaking stiles' eyelids twitched and he opened his eyes quickly while sitting up.

His ragged breaths returned to normal after realising it was just Derek and Derek smiles at him, showing stiles straight,pearly white bunny teeth that made stiles giggle.

Derek revelled in that giggle and wished that would constantly be the sounds he made instead of the crying and whimpering that now seemed to be his default sounds.

Stiles smiled back at him with teeth and wide eyes and derek huffed out a small laugh for no particular reason.

Derek then remembered what he had woken stiles for and turned around, grabbing the plate of food on the table behind him and he turned back. Stiles smile instantly dropped and was replaced with a frown.