hot chocolate ➸ jerrie

[8.]

chapter eight
a text from jade

cowardice
/ˈkaʊədɪs/
(n.) lack of bravery

I KNEW THAT I COULDN'T IGNORE HER but I never thought she would reach out so soon.

The sun was beaming down on the birds outside the hotel window. Everything seemed joyous, besides me.

Hesitantly, I opened the text message.

Perrie,
i am so sorry. i miss you. i really miss you. you left again, but this time i have no idea where you are and i'm terrified. please ring me, text me, anything i just want to know you're safe. i'm not there to protect you anymore.

jed and i are over. he said he has his eyes on someone else and broke up with me. i hate him for it. we still have to 'date' publicly tho and i hate it.

please come back. i'm sorry, and pez? i love you too.

xx jade xx

I didn't know about the tears streaming down my cheeks until I saw them drip onto the phone screen.

I clicked on her profile and took a deep breath. Her whatsapp bio broke my heart.

' i'm yours, even if you don't know it '

"Oh Jade," I murmured, pressing the 'ring' button besides her name.

"Jade?"

I heard her release a breath she'd obviously been holding, "Perrie! Are you hurt? Where are you? Where are you sleeping? Do you have food? Are you safe? I'm coming to get you." Her voice was weak but laced with worry.

"I'm safe, Jade. I'm coming home."

I didn't know how she would react, so I hung up before she could.

Cowardice, I know.

I checked out of the hotel and got in a taxi, heading home in silence. I watched the city flash by through the window, the colours becoming blurs as the journey went on.

I walked up to the door. Nervous was an understatement. My hands were clammy with sweat as my heart pounded in my chest, ready to burst any moment.

I knocked on the door.

"Bambi?"

I opened the door, expecting an angry Jade. Instead, she had tear stains on her cheeks and swollen eyes.

The smaller girl fell into my arms, sighing with relief. She felt frail and I could feel her trembling.

"Jade, I didn't-"

"But you did, Perrie." She whispered, her voice cracking, "you ran away. Again."

I couldn't answer her, so I just held her tighter as she buried her face into the crook of my neck.

"Perrie, what's on your mind?" she looked up to me, lifting my chin with her small fingers. Her thumb stroked my bottom lip. She cupped my face, caressing my cheek. Concern shone in her hazel eyes as Jade spoke in a soothing tone, "I can tell something is really bothering you."

My eyes met hers. Her hair cascaded over her face as I tucked a loose strand behind her ear. "Jade..."

She sighed, "Perrie, stop keeping secrets from me. Please. It hurts, Perrie. It really hurts."

"Jed kissed me." I blurted out.

I held my breath, awaiting a response.

"Perrie..." Jade shook her head, tears beginning to well in her eyes.

"I kissed back." I whispered, pulling her off my lap and trying to run.

Jade shook her head again, and grabbed my arm- pulling me back down onto the couch before sitting back on my lap."No, Perrie. You can't run away this time."

I turned away, not wanting her to see the tears streaming down my face.

"Pez," she gently turned my head until our eyes met. "Did you like it?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly, looking away.

I heard her hold her breath.

"I don't think so. But I kissed back and now I feel so awful and-"

"Perrie," she hummed, cupping my face and looking into my eyes. "It's okay. I'm okay, you're okay, we're okay."