Irresistible Danger

Extending an Olive Branch

The two of you sat in silence, you staring straight ahead at the off-white wall of the stairwell, while Trixie had her head bowed in her hands, with her elbows balanced on her thighs. The only noise was the sound of her heavy breathing echoing around the enclosed space, as she tried to keep any more sobs from breaking free.

You were unsure of what to say, and so decided that it was best to say nothing, rather than risk further upsetting her or pissing her off. Your eyes followed along a crack near the ceiling, before fixating on a spider web that was spread out in the corner.

Trixie finally broke the silence, her words low and mumbled into her chest.

"You ever think about running away?"

Surprised by the question, you took a few long seconds to think about it, before honestly answering, "And going where?"

She sighed, lifting her head, so that her chin was on the palm of one hand, eyes staring down the flight of steps in front of her.

"I don't know. Sometimes, I think that maybe...just maybe...if I could run far enough, I'd come out the other side, ya know? Like, maybe there's an end to all this...you just have to find the edge, and step across. And, once you do, walkers don't exist anymore, and people are able to live normally. It's where things never changed, and everyone I cared about is safe."

This was a much different side of Trixie than the girl who smirked at you during dinner and interrogated you in the locker rooms, and you were almost unsure if she was being genuine, and was instead baiting you. But, then you remembered that there was no way she would've expected you to be awake and coming back up the stairwell from breakfast today, since that wasn't your normal routine, so there was no way that she could've planned this encounter.

Still treading lightly, just in case, you replied, "I think that's a nice fantasy."

She finally looked over at you, her eyes locking onto yours with a childlike desperation that reminded you just how young she really was. No part of her expression showcased deception or dishonesty, and you realized that she was, for some reason, deciding to bare a piece of herself to you.

"It is. It's one that I have every single day. Some days...it's the only thing that keeps me going."

She stated the end quietly, her gaze once again going back to her lap. Despite all your previous annoyance with her, and the multiple times you envisioned smacking that smirk off her face, you felt all that melting away at her admission. It was so easy to forget that you didn't know much about people's pasts, before the apocalypse. You didn't know what they had to do, to survive until this point...who they might've lost. Trixie would've been barely 18 when everything had started, which, before all this, would've meant she was just figuring out her identity and where she fit in the world. Perhaps, she had been preparing for college, had envisioned a future full of dreams and happy endings, all to have it stolen away in the blink of an eye. And now, in this new world, she was thrown into the identity of being an independent adult, with no choice on the matter. No one was here to take care of her, and she was stuck trying to survive in a harsh world on her own. To forfeit all her hopes and dreams in favor of washing dishes and serving food to people who, before she had arrived here, she hadn't even known existed.

You had, mistakenly, let Trixie's sassy attitude and condescending demeanor blind you to the scared and uncertain young woman sitting beside you. And, really, you could relate to that, because you used your own sarcasm to deflect any deeper emotions. Or, at least, you had done that when first arriving here, before Ben and Negan had started slowly chipping away at your armor, and proved to you that there were people who would accept you, flaws and all. Trixie obviously hadn't had anyone like that here, so you couldn't blame her for being bitter. Loneliness and fear were two toxic emotions, that could make a person do and say things they might later regret.