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Years?

**NOEL'S POV**

"Why?" He inquires softly for the third time. I feel my lips start to quiver and tears flood my eyes.

"I-I needed some way to get rid of the pain..." I trail off wiping the tears that seem to be flooding out like a freaking dam broke unleashing them all. I haven't truly cried like this in a long time, and never have I in front of anyone especially someone I barely know. Sobs escape my trembling lips as I think about how short a period I have known Harry and yet he has done so much for me. I can't help but feel indebted to him now.

"How long?" He asks quietly and I look down at him to see a stray tear leaving his eye. He glances up, his emerald eyes meeting mine. Usually they are so bright and full of life, as I gaze into them now, they are dull and filled with sadness. I feel guilty for making him feel like this after he has only made me happy, and sometimes frustrated.

"It doesn't matter, Harry." I whisper wiping another tear that managed to escape his once lively eyes.

Abruptly he stands and stares hard into my eyes.

"Yes it does, Noel! I should've helped you the first day I saw you. I know you know I saw your scars that day.. I know you tried to hide them from me. I could've saved you pain, even if only for one night, it would've been better than nothing!" He yells, more tears escaping his eyes. By this time I was full on sobbing but still holding eye contact.

"How long?" He repeats, his voice quieter now.

"For about... 5 years..." I break my gaze from his looking down in shame. Gosh, did I really do this for 5 whole years?

"F-five years?" He stammers out his face fills with a look of disbelief.

I simply nod my head while returning my gaze to the floor.

All of the sudden I feel a pair a strong arms around my wast and my body is overtaken with a tingly warmth. I snuggle my head into his chest, soaking it with tear stains. I inhale a shaky breath trying to calm myself. My senses are overwhelmed with his smell. The faint mint and strong cologne mixing together in perfect harmony, enveloping my senses.

After about twenty minutes Harry pulls back holding my shoulders an arms length from him.

"Can you do me a favor?" He asks peering deep into my eyes.

I nod, not trusting my words.

"Promise me you won't ever do it again?" His eyes are full of hope and sadness mixed together.

"I'm sorry Harry, but I can't do that. It's my only release.." I shake my head fixating my sight on the white tiled floor of the bathroom. I breathe deeply while finding the floor interesting. The creamy swirls and shimmers in each square tile reflecting the light.

Snapping me out of my thoughts, I feel two warm fingers tilting my chin upwards, sparks reaching my every limb radiating from his touch.

"Please Noel? I hardly know you, but I do know that I have this strong urge to protect you. I care about you, a lot... A lot more than I probably should..." He admitted glancing towards the floor before returning his gaze to meet mine, " but I know that you do not deserve the life you have. You are a stunning, caring, affectionate, understanding, free-spirited girl who deserves to be treated like it. And I, and I'm sure the boys too, would be honored to be able to treat you that way. I don't want to see you hurt, I won't see you hurt because it hurts me too."

I sigh. How I earth can I just stop doing the thing I've depended on to keep me going for years. Yeah that sounds weird because I could kill myself doing it, but I make sure to stick around. To be totally honest I have no clue why, but I still am careful on where and how deep my cuts are. I can't just give up the only thing that has never left my side all these years... I love my blades more than my own father. Awful right? I know.

"Please, Noel?"

"YOU DONT GET IT HARRY! CUTTING IS MY SUPPORT SYSTEM!" I yell while the tears come back. "I can just stop something I've been addicted to for years, I just can't. Especially because I have nothing else" I add my voice nearly audible now. Harry still hears though.

"Let me be your support system."

**A/N**

Short chapter again, sorry! I haven't had a lot of time to write and I'm lazy haha. So anyways keep reading please! I'm hoping to be updating more once I get a handle on my schedule. Hopefully the chapters will be longer too. I'm really tired but I can't sleep ugh... So yeah but I love you all! Can we get some more votes and reads?!

Love you!💕

-M