Love Me Anyway (A student-teacher relationship)

Chapter Fifteen

Okay, I hope you like this chapter, becuase I do. It's also the longest one so far, which is always a good thing, right?

I'm not a big fan of the music to the side, but it suits this chapter well enough. It's one of the songs that I had planned out from teh beginning, even if I'm not a big fan of country.

the beginning might be a little bit confusing, but don't worry about it. It's basically just Cynthia's inner rantings, but they're fun to follow. They should be a little confusing if I'm completely honest ;)

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I kissed my teacher.

No I didn’t.

Yes I did.

That barely qualified as a kiss!

But I still kissed him.

Or did he kiss me?

No, I kissed him.

What was I thinking?

I was being stupid.

I didn’t kiss him, I imagined it. No way I would do something so stupid.

But I did.

Oh my god I kissed my teacher!

Snap out of it Cynthia. It’s no big deal.

What am I talking about? Of course it’s a big deal.

It was against the rules.

It was barely legal!

Well, there’s only a three year difference.

So? He’s my teacher!

What if someone found out?

I’m going to die!!!

Calm down, calm down. Breath… In, out, in, out. Now, think about this calmly.

OH MY GOD, I KISSED MY TEACHER.

I brushed my hair away from my eyes with a rough hand. I stood in the middle of the hallway, hyperventilating as my thoughts had a war with themselves. Thank god every one was gone home by now.

Why did I run out like that?

Because I was about to jump him.

Why did I kiss him in the first place?

It’s not my fault he’s so hot!

Don’t blame other people! You’re the one who kissed him!

I didn’t mean to!

Shut up. Yes you did.

Don’t tell me to shut up unless you do too!

Shut up.

I can’t shut up when you’re still talking. YOU’RE PART OF ME!!

But I didn’t kiss him.

YES YOU DID YOU BITCH.

Don’t call yourself names.

I should go back.

No you shouldn’t! We’ll kiss him again!

No we won’t.

I will.

He’s probably just as freaked out. His student just kissed him.

And she has issues.

So does he.

In a weird way, that gave me some sort of comfort and acted to slightly calm the raging voices inside of me. I worked to slow my breathing, each breath deep and deliberate, shaking on release. I took a few steps back to his classroom, but rethought it, and headed out of the school. How would talking to him help anything? The voices in my head were right, if I saw him at the moment, I would jump him. The memory of his breath brushing against my face as my own caught in my throat was far to fresh in my mind. The intense look he had in his silver-green eyes still made my stomach tie up in these ridiculous knots.