Excerpts From A Story Ill Never Write

Seven

I still remember the exact day I began to live my life. My mom had transferred me to a different school and sent me on my way with one mission..."Bring home a new friend" and so I did and for the sake of this story we'll call him Jackson. Jackson sat behind me in my reading class and little did I know he was also my internet best friend. He never once showed me what he had looked like until now. Once I found this out there wasn't a time in that school year you would find us apart. I brought him home sometime in the first week and I should have known ,from the way my moms eyes lit up, what he was going to bring into my life. He immediately opened my eyes up to everything I was missing as a 13 year old. Even though he was a year older then me I took every word he had to say to me and held onto it. He had these brown eyes that once you looked into them there wasn't a way to pull yourself out. He was short but still taller than me. He was perfection in my eyes. I tried not to look at him that way as he was in a serious relationship but Jackson was just Jackson. He had this way about him that made you weak in the knees. Him and his girlfriend didn't really work out and that ended up taking a huge toll on him but that is for another story. Once he was single...the way I looked at him spiraled out of control. There is a reason why people tell you not to fall in love with your best friend and the reason is because 9 times out of 10 it ends up in tears and pain. I wont say ours didn't but there was much more then the tears and pain there was also laughs and passion. He was the one I gave everything to. At age 14 I smoked with him for the first time. Also at age 14 I told him to show me what love was and he took me into a mind set that I wish I could live in for the rest of my life. Our bodies inter locked in ways you would only see in the movies and maybe that's why I thought we would end in a happy fairy tale...what that isn't the case. After I spilt my heart to him over and over he still didn't see me as anything other then a best friend. After I gave him all I could give him I still wasn't good enough. Or so I thought. He sat through countless shopping trips with me. He was there when I got my ears pierced. He has even went bra shopping with me and this December he is going to be my Mamma's best man in her and my birth mothers wedding. He come into my life and didn't waste a second since he's been here if its holding me or letting me join him on a weekend get away, he is always there. The way I see it is that even thought I dont call him my boyfriend I still call him mine. We are the closest thing to a relationship he can be in right now so why not run with it? Why not live  a chapter of my life when its pages are unfolding right in front of me? 

So the day I started living was the day I let him in. 

The day I made a choice without thinking first. 

The day I met my first love.