Excerpts From A Story Ill Never Write

Three

My therapist told me to describe home and I started talking about your hair and the sound of your voice and how your skin feels and the softness of your lips until I realized she was expecting a place... so I described your arms and how they wrap around my waist perfectly like the skin lying underneath but she still wanted a place...so I gently whispered "Anywhere he is"

You know how it is. 14, think you knoweverything when really you know nothing but the tiny ball at the back of your throat and the overly replayed thoughts of weight loss.

You know how it is feeling like you own the world but one comment from the preppy boy in the hallway and your back on your knees pressing on that tiny ball after only a single drink of water.

You know how it is to stand in front of the mirror picking at everything from the bumps on your legs to your more then normal hairy arms to your crooked smile to your messy curly hair to..."How much makeup should i put on today??"

You know how it is to have your size 7 friends dragging you to go shopping knowing none of their stores will hold anything you could fit into

You know how it is to make your parents mad at the line of "i'm not hungry" "i ate before you got home" or " i'm just going to go to bed"

You know how it is but you didn't know how it is to have a guy kiss your impressions wishing all of your self conscious thoughts away with each wisp of his bottom lip

You didn't know that letting him in would be one of the best things you ever did because everytime he looks at you he makes you feel like you're the skinny small girl you had always dreamt of being.

You didn't know he would stay. You didn't know that in a year you would be able to stand in front of him and not feel any different then if you had every inch of your skin covered layer after layer.

You didn't know he would hold you when you cried and you definitely didn't know you would let down every barrier for him and blossom into a new happier person.

You didn't....you didn't know that home would be where ever he is.