I...I Know You Hate Me

Chapter 3

With each step through the white tiled hallway, my fear grew stronger and stronger. The noises of the beeping machines and the nurses shuffling around the hospital were deafening as we made our way to the room. Andrea, however, seemed unaffected as she made her way through the halls. 

I guess it's just me then.

I could see a small flash in the corner of my eye which told me that I was going to get a migraine... and a bad one too. Ignoring it as best as I could, I caught up with Andrea as she stopped near a door marked 622. 

"Jamie and his parents are right in this room. Just give me a second to let 'em know you're here"

"Alright"

My breathing became faster and I had to force myself to calm down before I had a panic attack. 

I guess this is what Greta felt like when she got her panic attacks. I'd hate to have this regularly. 

Suddenly Andrea came out of the door and said "Alright go on in".

Slowly, I walked through the large doorway and around the curtain that was there if the patient wanted any privacy. My feet stopped and were glued to the floor as the sight before me registered in my brain.

There sat Jamie, in the hospital bed with an IV in his little hand and various other tubes I had no idea what were used for around him. He seemed microscopic laying in the giant hospital bed that was three times bigger than him. My heart shattered and I had to fight to stay strong and not break down in front of this family. They didn't need that right now.

C'mon Niko. Keep it together.

"NEENEE!!!!!" shouted Jamie as I walked around the curtain.

"Hey Jay Jay. How are you feeling?"

"My tummy hurts"

"I'm sorry buddy. Hey guess who wanted to see you"

I slowly pulled Bokoto out of my bag, and as I did, Jamie's excitement reached his face, lighting up his eyes. I handed the small stuffed animal over to the three year old. I also handed him his small blue notebook.

"Thankyume" he said politely and opening it to the drawing of Mickey Mouse he had created the day before. He always mashes the words 'Thank you' and 'You're welcome' together. After talking to Jamie, I walked around the huge bed to Molly and gave her a big hug. 

"Hey Molly. How are you holding up?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"I don't even know" she said looking over to Jamie who was showing Daniel his drawing excitedly. "We were finally getting on track, and now I don't know how we're gonna be able to afford the chemotherapy. It can be as high as $30,000."

Oh crap. This is bad.

"Oh my God"

Molly sighed. I didn't even know what to say. 

"Mommy! Lookit!" shouted Jamie enthusiastically.

I'm glad he's still his energetic self.

Molly walked over next to Jamie to see what he was trying to show her. She smiled and hugged him.

"It's really good Jamie!" 

"It's Meemee!"

Daniel walked over to me, thanking me for bringing Jamie the gifts. I nodded letting him know it was alright. Sitting down in one of the chairs in the hospital room, I began to think.

How long would Jamie live? Is this something that wouldn't let him live a normal life? How many other families have had loved ones taken away from them? How many other lives had this DISEASE affected? How will it affect THIS family? I hate to be selfish, especially in times like this, but how will it affect me? I don't think I can bounce back from another deep state of depression. This is going to be really really bad.