I drown a thousand times a day. I try and struggle against the raging torrent pulling me under, the rising sense of pain and anguish. I struggled every day but thought in the end i couldn't let the current pull me under. i needed to float I had to stay alive, i had to fight. But it's hard and sometimes even the strongest people are beaten time and time again.
I feel the waves lapping over, and over, and over my frantically waving hand. It tires, and drops helplessly under, next to my burning body. It feels as though my lungs are filled with acid -- ever ripe and ready to burst. The worst part is, whenever I think that this is my limit, this is my end, I hold on that bit longer. Clenched fist. Eyes wide. Mouth...still shut. I push one last time, reaching for god-knows-what. I fail, of course. I try to relax...not working. I then gulp as much as I can, wanting this nightmare to be over. It fills my mouth, looking for any pathway it can find to finish me.
And it does. Just like that."
I know that sounds ridiculously elaborate and over exaggerated but when you've faced life like I have, everday feels like that. like I said earlier I drown a thousand times a day. it's not possible! they all say yet it is otherwise how am I feeling it. I came to realise , this isn't physical it's emotional my feelings, the drowning is a metaphor for all my pain.
so as my hands shake as i write this to you. I finish off my note
"Someday, we'll run into each other again, I know it. Maybe I'll be older and smarter and just plain better. If that happens, that's when I'll deserve you. But now, at this moment, you can't hook your boat to mine, because I'm liable to sink us both. "
I was always drowning but now i have. So to whoever finds my sinking ship with my lungs slowly filling to the top with water , Don't worry, imagine me happier.
Sometimes it's ok to drown.
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hello I am NOT saying that this is how any member feels and also if you feel like this reach out for help stop yourself from going under! i'm here and even if you feel like no one else is there is always someone. whether that's in the future or now. it WILL get better I promise.
Who do you think it's about?
bye internet
YOU ARE READING
RoadTrip imagines
FanfictionI love roadtrip and since they are the band that breaks everything I figured I would do this. I'm not sadistic I swear! no, but really I have seen a few so I decided why not? 26 + parts as of now will be being published once those have been complete...
