Be Still My Heart

Chapter 10

I walked towards the beach house and used a key hidden under a rock to open the back door. "When was the last time you were here Cami?"

I had to think about it because I honestly couldn't remember "I guess that would be the last time we were here together." he smiled from beside me but I walked in the house. My parents had removed the furniture from the living room with the intent of having it replaced. But after Camdyn passed there was hardly anyone here so they must have forgotten.

I sat in the middle of the floor with my legs crossed "You know the last time we were here together you kissed me."

Aiden's deep laugh echoed in the empty room I closed my eyes taking it in. It wasn't a sound that I would take for granted "Yeah, I remember." he sat next to me and we both faced the fireplace. I fought the urge to lean against him as I used to when we were closer.

"Why did you?" Aiden turned to me but I could tell he was confused by the crease between his eyebrows. "Kiss me. Why did you kiss me?"

He was looking towards the ground and ran a hand through his hair "I wanted to."

Did he mean he just wanted to kiss someone or that he wanted to kiss me? And if he wanted to kiss me was it just to do it or was it because he had feelings for me? "But why me? I mean why would you want to kiss me?"

I heard him scoff next to me but I didn't look over. Honestly, I didn't understand why anyone would want to kiss me. He was the only boy to ever kiss me and it had only happened once. "Cami, why do most people kiss someone else?"

I turned and looked at him hoping for him to just tell me because if I guess wrong it would be embarrassing. I mean most of the time people kiss the people they like or love, but if I say that and it is a different reason things would get awkward.

"I kissed you because I had a crush on you." Had is a very important keyword there. But when Aiden said that I still felt my eyes widen.

"Why?" I legitimately wanted to know because I've never been the hot girl or the one every wants to be with or be like. I was semi-popular before Camdyn passed but after that, I was forgotten. No one wanted me and no one pretended they did.

"Camryn you are beautiful and fun. You were my best friend and I knew you better than anyone else. I spent almost every day with you and developing feelings for you wasn't hard. I wanted to have a relationship with you but everything happened and I stupidly pushed you away."

All of this would be easier to take in if when he spoke of his feelings it wasn't all past tense. Hearing him talk about a relationship made my feelings for him return. At least enough to make me wish it wasn't all past tense. Maybe that's dumb of me because we are just now getting back to being friends again but I can't help it. There is something seriously wrong with me.

"Why didn't you ever say something?" The silence wasn't calming if anything it was deafening.

"I think that's what I was trying to accomplish by kissing you. I guess it didn't get my message across. What did you think afterward?" Oddly enough I remember how I felt afterward. I thought about it a lot over the next week but I didn't see Aiden to talk to him about it. The day I was supposed to see him Camdyn died.

"I hoped that's what it was supposed to mean. I was going to ask you but I never got the chance until well now." I looked to the floor because if I'm being honest with myself I'm terrified about where this conversation is going.

I felt Aiden push my hair from my face so he could see me. He hooked his finger under my chin and lifted my face and I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. Aiden leaned forward slowly as his hand when from my chin to the side of my face holding me in place. His lips barely touched mine and I leaned into the kiss. It was soft and his tongue swept across asking for entrance but before I could react Aiden softly bit my lower lip and pulled away "We should probably get going." I nodded not able to speak.