Subjection

Are you Alive?

The small space inside the car is coated with a thick layer of black smoke; I look round for Elizabeth my arm straining as I reach out for her hand. She attempts to open the back doors flinching back as the heat burns her skin .The flames rise consuming the sides, back and front of the car. Running my hand through my hair to push the curls out my face I force the sunroof open, My green eyes looking into hers as  my arm wraps around her waist guiding her out of the death trap, my nostrils flaring as the smell of petrol fills the air.

Elizabeth’s POV

My mouth is dry, my throat itchy. The warmth of Harrys arm pushes my fragile body onto the roof of the car. It’s a tight squeeze but the melted plastic around me leaves room to remover. Luke is nowhere to be seen.

Sliding off the car I step back waiting for Harry. But he cannot fit through the sunroof I helplessly look around for someone, anyone to help.

I spot Luke leaving his car, Sirens ringing in the distance.

I run over to him and fall to my knees pleading.

“Luke, Please you have to help him I’ll do anything” I scream.

“Well there a price to pay if your want to me to save lover boy, let’s say we forget about the little encounter earlier eh?”

I nod frantically, the evil basted deserved to rot in prison, but Harry didn’t deserve to burn alive.

Everything is a blur, Harry's arm is seen reaching out to Luke as he pulls him out the car. Eyes squeezed shut as the glass shatters around him.

Paramedics rush out of the hospital strapping Harry's lifeless body onto a large contraption and wheel him across the car park and through the iron doors’ I should of turnt away, but I couldn’t I’m a fucking monster, he could be dead and it’s all my fault. Luke is nowhere to be seen as firefighters put out the ball of flames he caused.

I remain on my knees.

Minutes, hours even pass and I just weep.

Have you ever felt like you don’t know what’s going on anymore? Like you don’t care about anything anymore.

You’ve lost the motivation to get as close as moving...

You’re confused about your feelings, and words could never explain the emptiness you feel inside. That feeling like no one understands you any there nothing to look forward to anymore because that’s me.

Dragging my body off the ground I begin the painful walk into the hospital. ‘One foot after the other’ my conscious tells me. Don’t stop, keep going, not that much longer now’

And I keep walking, up the flights of stairs’ even managing to mutter his name to the receptionist I encountered previously then retrace the same steps we took together earlier.

Finding the seating area I sit on the furthest chair. Away from the children and the parents, from reality. And I let my head fall against my hands as I pretend the pain I feel every day is nothing ,I try to convince myself life is totally perfect, that I’ve never been hurt. I begin to laugh, to pretend my life isn’t a screw up slowly sucking myself into an illusion.