Just Off The Key Of Reason

Chapter 5: My Bears

By the time opening night rolled around, Camila was back in top form, only slighter crazier than usual because, well, dear God, it was opening night. She paced around her dressing room waiting for her friends to meet her, sure that she was suffering some sort of health problem. Cardiac arrest? Suffocation? Sudden onset epilepsy? Camila swirled around when the door opened, watching as Harry froze and stared at her. God, she must look like a maniac.
"Keep moving Styles." A voice behind him said. "It's hot as ass in this hallway."
Harry rolled his eyes, but stepped into the room. "Wow, that's wonderful, Dinah."
Normani and Dinah followed him into the room, and Camila stopped pacing long enough to greet them with a nervous smile.
"So, have you forgotten your lines yet?" Dinah asked. She looked bored, and started rummaging through all the crap on Camila's dresser.
"Oh my God, Dinah!" Harry exclaimed. "You don't ask her that right before a show!"
"Well, hopefully the answer's no." Dinah said distractedly, pocketing one of Camila's nail polishes and opening her drawers.
"I am fully prepared for this, thank you very much Dinah. I've been preparing for twenty-four years, actually. And it's perfectly healthy to be filled with nervous energy before a show." Camila chose not to mention how she had been diagnosing herself with farfetched medical disorders a few minutes ago.
Dinah studied her with something like pride in her eyes, heavily disguised and hidden pride, or alcohol intoxication, then went back to stealing her stuff.
Harry took one of Camila's hands in his. "You're a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls, Camila. You were born for this, and we're proud of you, and you'll be amazing. Oh, and I'm illegally filming it on Zayn's crappy camera because Ally is threatening me with physical violence."
Camila pulled him into a hug. "Thanks Harry." She let go as the door opened again and Lauren walked in hesitantly with her hands in her coat pockets. She smiled when she saw Camila. Camila started to walk over to her.
"Hey, it's Lauren!" Normani exclaimed, beating Camila and bounding to a halt in front of Lauren. She didn't try to touch her, just stood there with a bright smile on her face and warm brown eyes.
"Hi, Normani." Lauren said, lips quirked up slightly.
"How are you?" Normani asked.
Camila almost laughed. She had never heard Normani ask that before in her life; they were the sort of boring pleasantries Normani usually just bounded right over. Camila glanced at Harry, who looked a little unnerved. Dinah, pockets now weighed down with Camila's belongings, just studied the two brunettes with a smile. Camila could see Lauren's fingers moving in her pockets.
"Um, I'm fine. How about you?"
"I'm great! But I have to go now 'cause Dinah said we could get churros if I could eat mine before the show starts. So, bye Lauren! Bye Camila!"
Normani grabbed Dinah's hand and skipped out the door. Harry plopped down on the couch and Camila made her way over to Lauren, who pulled her into a hug as soon as she was close enough.
"Thanks for coming." She said when they pulled apart.
Lauren smiled. "Of course. I would've been here earlier but Barnaby, um, chewed the shoes I wanted to wear...So, I had to change my dress..."
"Well, you look wonderful." Camila said, grinning as Lauren flushed and looked down at her feet. "Will you be okay here? I mean, are you comfortable, in the audience?" she asked, slightly quieter.
Harry wasn't paying attention. He was messing around with a video camera that looked like it hadn't been used since 1992.
Lauren's ears turned pink to match her face. She nodded shyly. "I'll be fine. You'll be amazing Camz, and I'll just focus on your voice." Camila searched her face for a moment for any signs that Lauren wasn't fine. She grinned when green eyes met hers, and turned to Harry clapping her hands.
"Okay, I have twenty minutes guys! Harry, if you'll escort m'lady out to your seats, I'll see you all after the show. Dinner, right?"
Harry nodded as he stood up. "Go be a star, Camila." He said, offering Lauren his arm with a warm smile. Lauren took it and gave Camila a small wave before the two left the dressing room. Camila resumed her pacing and counted down the minutes to showtime.
~oooooooooo~
The show went flawlessly, with the only disruption coming from a drunk woman in the audience who seemed to be under the impression that she was watching The Little Mermaid. Camila was proud of herself, and her cast, of course. She was legitimately worried that there was too much adrenaline coursing through her as they bowed at the curtain call, and she'd pass out into the orchestra. At that moment she'd found her friends in the audience, clapping wildly. Zayn was wolf-whistling; Dinah was trying to make it seem like she wasn't bawling her eyes out; Lauren just looked so proud.
Lauren still looked proud as they settled into a booth at some fancy restaurant that Harry was paying for, whose name nobody could pronounce. Camila didn't care. She'd eat freaking rose petals if they were put on her plate right now. It was a crowded restaurant, and it only got louder as it filled with more people.
"Cabello, you have a fucking price tag on your dress." Dinah stated calmly while perusing her menu. Zayn snorted when he caught sight of it.
"Oh my God." Camila whined, looking over her shoulder and carefully pulling the tag off. Carefully, because she'd pulled a tag off once and had to walk home with a semi-pornographic gaping hole in the back of her dress. "You guys could've told me sooner."
Dinah scoffed. "You're lucky I told you now." She muttered.
Camila sighed. She really couldn't understand half the menu; she'd probably end up with four bites of food surrounded by nine pounds of decoration.
"What are you guys getting?" Camila asked the table at large.
"Cordon Bleu." Harry replied instantly. "Filled with ham and paprika."
Zayn glanced at him and nodded his head. "Yep, I'm gonna go with that too."
"Pork steak with walnuts and brie au gratin." Dinah said. "I think. Unless this means something like, fried pig hooves or something."
"Hmmm." Camila said, trying to ignore that image. "What about you Lauren?"
Lauren glanced up from her menu. "Um, I'm getting grilled cheese."
"Seriously, green eyes? We're in this restaurant built for the fucking kings and you go for grilled cheese?" Dinah remarked incredulously. Camila had to admit grilled cheese sounded better than the fried pig hooves Dinah had probably accidentally ordered.
Lauren frowned and focused her eyes back on her menu. "I don't really like any of this." She said quietly. "I can change it, I'll get-"
"No." Camila interrupted, taking Lauren's menu and folding it in half. "You get what you want Lauren. We'll all probably be wishing we had ordered off the kid's menu as well."
Lauren nodded with her eyes still fixed to the table. Camila ordered tortellini with spinach ricotta, and when the food came, everybody was pleased to find that they had interpreted the menu correctly. The sauce on Normani and Dinah's food almost made Normani vomit, but, whatever. She scraped most of it off and it was fine. It wasn't pig hooves.
Lauren started playing with her silverware about halfway through the meal. Flipping the spoon up and down with her fingers and bouncing her knees. It was getting very loud in the restaurant.
"Lauren." Camila said quietly, putting her hand over the spoon so Lauren couldn't reach it. Lauren froze and kept chewing her sandwich, eyes focused on Camila's hand.
"Lauren, you're okay." Camila took Lauren's free hand to prevent it playing with the cutlery anymore. She smiled softly when Lauren met her eyes, and winked as she stuck the spoon next to Harry and out of Lauren's reach.
"So, Lauren," Zayn started loudly, watching the two with a smirk, "Camila was pretty hot on that stage tonight, huh?"
Harry choked on his food and Normani thumped him on the back. Lauren flushed immediately, but smiled and looked at Camila.
"She was amazing."
Zayn nodded like he was expecting her to continue, or act out some sort of fantasy. Camila was watching him suspiciously.
Surprisingly, Lauren did continue. "I don't think I've ever heard a voice like yours, Camila. It's so...it's like-it makes me feel happy inside."
Now it was Camila's turn to blush. Zayn was still grinning like a fucking fool.
"I know you went to Tisch, but, um, you sang in high school too right?"
Camila was still trying to return her face to its normal color, so Normani answered for her.
"Hell yeah she did! She was the captain of our glee club. We won Nationals senior year, which, I think was because of my dancing, but I guess Mila did a good job singing too."
Dinah nodded along sagely.
"Oh God Normani, you're giving me high school flashbacks." Harry rubbed his temples. "You still talk to Shawn, right Camila?"
Camila nodded. Zayn caught the confusion on Lauren's face. "Harry's stepbrother. My best friend. Her ex." He explained succinctly. Lauren frowned.
"I am grateful for everything that happened in high school. I overcame those obstacles and am now starring in a Funny Girl revival on Broadway." Camila emphasized her point by waving her hands around randomly. She was still a little high on excitement. "I left the bullies behind and I am exactly where I want to be." She smiled at Lauren and punctuated her sentence by forcefully setting her napkin down on the table.
"You were bullied?" Lauren asked. She looked distraught. Camila bit her lip and glanced at Dinah. "Before glee, I didn't have a lot of friends, and I was sort of an easy target, you know. But, people came to their senses, realized I would be a massive star someday, and that they would be lucky if they got to wash my dog. I enjoyed the last couple years of high school. Oh yeah, and Barnaby needs a bath."
Camila nudged Lauren in the shoulder reassuringly, though the brunette still looked a little sad. "Can I buy you an ice cream?" Lauren asked.
Camila faltered. That was random. Then she beamed because, you know, who could say no to ice cream. Lauren brightened when Camila nodded and finished her grilled cheese happily.
After dinner, Camila stood off to the side of the ice cream cart with Dinah, while everybody else bought their cones. Dinah was jingling around Camila's stolen nail polishes in her coat pockets, humming nonchalantly.
"So, you know that girl likes you right?"
Camila raised an eyebrow. "Well I'd hope so, seeing as she's my roommate."
Dinah laughed. "No, Cabello. That girl looks at you like you're a fucking goddess, when she's not cowering away like a weirdo."
"Hey!" Camila glared and shoved Dinah off the curb. Dinah held up her hands in defense. For a split second, Camila considered pushing her in the way of a guy on his bike, who looked like he was about plow through the crowd anyway.
"Geez!" Dinah regained her balance. "I'm joking. Simmer down. She..."
Camila figured Dinah would say something like, "is nice," or "is pretty."
"...looks like she tastes like cotton candy."
Okay, the guy on the bike was almost here. Camila got ready to shove Dinah into his path.
"No, no, no. Like, sweet, like you said. Too nice. Sugary." Dinah backed away from Camila as she explained herself.
"How can you be too nice?" Camila muttered.
Dinah just smirked, now safely a few yards away from the bike lane. "She's perfect for you Cabello. Just make sure you tell me when you finally find out how she really tastes. Okay?"
Camila flushed and tripped on the curb as Dinah skipped away to get her massive, gumball-topped ice cream from Normani. Lauren came up and handed Camila a strawberry cone with a small smile. Camila couldn't remember the last time anyone had bought her ice cream. She took Lauren's free hand to prevent it from picking the hem of her sleeve, and joined the rest of their friends for the walk home.
~oooooooooo~
The next weekend, Sunday morning found Camila rolling around on a giant hollow ball in her living room. She had told herself she would do some yoga, but found that it was more fun to bounce around like a four-year old. She was trying to balance on the ball, on her hands and knees, like a seal, when Lauren emerged from the bedroom they basically shared.
She snorted as soon as she caught sight of Camila and covered her nose abruptly. Camila was startled, lost her balance, rolled off the ball, and sent her foot into the wall with so much force she was surprised it didn't make a hole. She lay on the floor with a sort of shocked smile, listening to Lauren laughing from the kitchen. Finally Lauren emerged with a cup of dry Sugar Puffs and a glass of chocolate milk. She sat down on the ball next to Camila.
"Are you okay?" Camila narrowed her eyes, but smiled. It hadn't taken her too long to re-gather her wits. Lauren didn't look like she was overly concerned, seeing as she was trying to contain her grin.
Camila nodded and rubbed her foot.
"Because you almost demolished our wall."
Camila scoffed. "I didn't almost demolish our wall, Lauren. I tapped it...a little roughly."
"With the force of a wrecking ball."
Camila sat up and looked at Lauren with an exaggerated annoyed face. She watched Lauren fill her cheeks with Sugar Puffs like a hamster.
"You're chatty this morning."
Lauren smiled shyly and shrugged, eyes darting around the room. She gestured to the second ball that Camila had been planning on using, along with the first one, to roll herself across the living room like a medieval machine. Really, when she had woken up, in the back of her mind she knew that no yoga would actually be done today.
"Can I try?" Lauren asked.
"By all means," Camila waved her arms around. "Don't hurt yourself. And don't put a hole in the wall. And don't-"
"Geez, speak for yourself. I'm not as clumsy as you." Lauren said distractedly, draping her front over the ball and rolling around a little. She was still funneling cereal into her mouth, now at such a ridiculous angle that Camila believed it deserved an award.
Camila raised her eyebrows and laughed shortly. She liked this Lauren. Open Lauren. "Okay, you're the one who tripped over Barnaby yesterday and nearly destroyed our coffee table in the process."
Lauren ignored her, and called Barnaby over to them instead. He bounded across the living room happily, snuffling around Lauren's face until she gave him a Sugar Puff. Camila scrunched up her nose.
"Oh, and last week you snuck out of bed in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, stubbed your toe on the tub, and pulled my whole shower curtain down! Lauren, there were a few seconds where I truly believed you were being murdered."
Camila was being completely serious. She had flashbacks to Psycho all night long. Lauren was one of the clumsiest people she had ever met.
"Okay, I'm clumsy." Lauren was on her back on the ball now, trying to balance with none of her limbs touching the floor. Camila knew this was an awesome idea. "But you-"
And there she goes, Camila thought. Lauren slid backwards off the ball, flung her Sugar Puffs all over the room, and slammed her head into the wall with a loud thump. Camila gasped, but then Lauren started laughing, and Camila's worry changed to amusement. Hopefully no neurological trauma had been suffered. If it had, well, it was probably worth it.
Then Camila found she couldn't contain herself. Lauren's laugh was loud and free and melodic, and the brunette was sort of clutching her head, which, okay maybe she should check that out, but it was just Lauren being Lauren. And Camila loved it. She laughed along, until Barnaby started eating the cereal scattered around the room and Camila had to intervene before he made himself sick and vomited in her shoes.
"Lauren." She tried to sound scolding, but just came off as breathless from laughing too much. "Pick up your damn cereal. Stop teaching my dog your terrible eating habits."
Lauren sat up and looked around, face bright red. Her smile faded at the sight of the mess. "Oh...no. Sorry."
Camila watched her start to move around and pick up the cereal bit by bit. Talk about fucking tedious. Camila grimaced as Lauren put a handful of the floor-tainted cereal back in the box. The cereal that had been on the floor. For longer than ten seconds. And then clutched in Lauren's hands. Back into the damn box. The box with a bear in a blue hat on it.
"Why do you like bears, Lauren?" Camila asked absently, gathering up the Sugar Puffs closest to her.
Lauren wiped her hands on her sleep shorts and disappeared behind the couch. "Um, I don't know." Lauren's disembodied voice said hesitantly. "They're-they look fluffy, you know. Like you could-you could cuddle them. Or something."
Camila smiled. She tried not to picture Lauren being mauled by a grizzly bear after trying to give it a hug.
"You're like a bear, Lauren." She remarked. Camila was too lazy to get up right now, so she just discreetly fed her small handful of Sugar Puffs to Barnaby, keeping her eyes on the couch the whole time.
Lauren's head popped up a moment later, followed by her body. Her nose was scrunched in confusion.
Camila decided to elaborate. Apparently telling somebody they were like a bear wasn't totally clear-cut in its meaning.
"You're quiet. And clumsy. Obviously." Camila stared pointedly at Lauren as the brunette sat on the floor on the other side of the coffee table. Lauren flushed. "I mean, bears aren't clumsy, but, you know, they could knock you out with a paw or something, right?"
Camila had no idea. She wasn't a fucking zoologist, man. "Plus, you're fluffy, solitary, you know, bear things."
Lauren just stared at her. "I'm fluffy?"
Camila chuckled, rolling her back against the giant ball behind her. "Yes."
Lauren smiled and drifted off into thought for a moment. Camila watched with interest.
"Well, then you're a bear too." Lauren finally said. God, what had Camila started. No, what had the fucking Sugar Puffs started.
"Bears can be loud sometimes, and...assertive, you know. I think they roar, do they roar?" Lauren looked at Camila curiously. Camila gave her an exaggerated WTF face; she didn't know if bears fucking roared.
Lauren shrugged and continued on happily. "They can be pesky, you know, like 'chase you through the woods 'till you die' sort of thing."
Camila snorted and Lauren smiled. Camila did have the persistence to chase somebody through the woods until they died.
"And you're fluffy sometimes, when you don't brush your hair. Especially in the morning. And you have big brown eyes. And, I don't know, Pooh Bear sings sometimes. And we have good bear hugs."
Camila watched with a smile as Lauren rambled on, blush building furiously, then tackled the woman in a bear hug when she finished. "I'll call you Big Bear from now on." She proclaimed, pulling back and ruffling Lauren's hair. Camila was only half-joking. She really stuck to nicknames; Dinah had been known as "skunk" for three years in college.
Lauren grinned and ducked her head before she met Camila's eyes.
"Then you're Little Bear." Lauren said logically. Shit, what had Camila done. Fucking nicknames.
She couldn't deny Lauren's excited face, though. Goddamned Sugar Puffs. She smiled at Lauren and nodded agreeably.
"Now," Camila said, trying to look serious, "Pick up the rest of your Puffs big bear or we'll get ants."
Lauren complied and Camila helped. They threw them in the garbage this time, like the "responsible adults" they were. Lauren then pulled Camila back on the balls and started a contest to see who could bounce higher. They had to call Zayn when Lauren put a hole in the drywall with her elbow, but it was totally worth it.