Just Off The Key Of Reason

Chapter 10: You Know, You're off the Tracks

"Chapter one of this Hawthorne novel is titled 'The Old Pyncheon Family."

Camila had absolutely no idea what Alex Trebek was talking about. She started playing absently with Lauren's fingers and glanced around the living room, a little bored.

"What is The House of the Seven Gables." Lauren said quietly. Camila turned her head to look at her, and then back at the game of Jeopardy on TV. Sure enough, that one weird guy who's way too enthusiastic with his buzzer got the question right. The House of the Seven Gables. Camila patted Lauren's arm with a smile; Lauren stayed focused on the TV.

Hmm, Camila eyed the box of cookies between them. Time for a game. Since she wouldn't be answering very many of these ridiculous trivia questions herself, and since Alex Trebek made her want to hurt somebody, she vowed to eat a cookie every time Lauren got a question right.

One cookie down.

"This endangered giraffe relative is more at home in the rainforest than on the open plain."

"What is the okapi?" Lauren said.

Another cookie.

"In February 1778 Baron Friedrich von Steuben arrived at this Pennsylvania site to train the Continental Army."

Lauren paused for a moment on this one. "What is Valley Forge?"

Yep, Camila was having her fill tonight. Lauren didn't even seem to notice that the cookies were vanishing so rapidly. Camila was surprised; Lauren was a fucking cookie monster.

"This "Symphonie Fantastique" composer was given 20,000 francs by Paganini, who declared him a musical genius."

"Who is Berlioz?" Lauren stared calmly at the screen.

Fuck. Camila stuffed another cookie in her mouth.

"Electron microscopes provide images with resolution measured in these units, also known as millimicrons, that are equal to about 1/50,000 the width of a human hair."

"What are nanometers?"

Jesus Christ. Camila was gonna vomit. Alright, girl, get your head in the game. Focus. Finish strong. Lauren and cookies couldn't defeat Camila.

"The accuracy of the dreams we brothers do not know...one thing we are sure about the dreamer has to go."

Lauren was silent; Camila started humming immediately because that clue sounded familiar. Wait. Wait a fucking second.

Camila froze and then leapt off the couch.

"JOSEPH AND THE-DREAMCOAT-TECHNICOLOR AMAZING-JOSEPH AND THE-WHAT IS JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING-"

"And with that we head to a commercial break."

Fuck. The pressure got to her. Goddamned Joseph and the Amazing Technicolored Dreamcoat. Really, who can come up with that fucking name on the spot. Camila sighed. She gave herself a point anyway; she knew what the answer was in her mind.

Camila turned back around to face the couch and found Lauren staring at her with wide eyes.

"I got that one." Camila mumbled defensively, collapsing back onto the couch and leaning into Lauren's side.

"Yes you did." Lauren remarked absently. She was staring right at the empty cookie container. Uh-oh. To Camila's surprise, Lauren simply ignored the fact that there was only half off one left, and turned back to the TV to answer Final Jeopardy.

"English poet Thomas Hoccleve, a contemporary of this man, called him the "firste fyndere of our fair langage."

"Who is Chaucer?" Lauren said easily.