Just Off The Key Of Reason

Chapter 9: The Signs are All Quiet

"No, Lauren, we're not nicknaming our puppy Nelly."

Not that there were many other options, really, with a name like Cornelius. What was left? Corny? Absolutely fucking not. Still, Camila needed something shorter to call him if, and when, she found herself consumed with irrational outrage at his actions.

As it turned out, Cornelius made Barnaby look like a fucking angel. With a halo. Trained by God himself. Barnaby actually seemed a little proud that Camila had now placed him on a pedestal for his "good" behavior. Sure, "Corny" or "Nelly" was probably the fluffiest and most adorable creature to exist on this earth, aside from Camila's girlfriend of course, but Jesus he was a handful. A basket-full. Or basket case. To put it lightly. The first thing he did when he walked through the door, let's not even get into what he did outside the door, that evening was gleefully pee up the dining room table. Lauren swept him up and took him right back outside while Camila rolled her eyes and restrained Barnaby.

Lauren looked a little guilty when they returned, and Camila watched her towel- dry the table leg while trying to convince her not to nickname their new dog after a rapper.

"Lauren! He had a hit single called Pimp Juice. That is not acceptable! You need to come up with a different name!" Camila ranted, scooping Cornelius up as he sunk his teeth into the plug-in air freshener that smelled like Christmas trees. In March.

"I don't know who he is, and I don't know what pimp juice means." Lauren stated, throwing the paper towels away and walking closer to Camila so she could take the puppy's face in her hands. God, how could a demon look so adorable?

"Seal." Lauren said.

The fuck? Camila knew Lauren was a little off in the clouds, but...

"The nickname." Lauren clarified. Well, not really clarified, more like confused even further. "Like, Cornelius backwards."

Camila stared at her, and tried to spell the name "Cornelius" backwards. In her mind. She was not successful, and got as far as phonetically sounding out "seal," before she gave up and waved her arms around in exasperation. Goddamned animals, man.

Lauren grinned.

Okay, their puppy would be nicknamed after a semi-aquatic marine mammal. Whatever.

The phone rang, and Camila put...Cornelius, no she would not use that nickname unless it was completely necessary...down, and he went blasting off into Camila's bedroom with Barnaby, Lauren hot on their heels. It was the landline, which was weird, and it took her about a minute to figure out which button to push before she got it to work. God, it was like the dark ages.

"Hi, I'm looking for Lauren. Is she there?"

Camila eyed the doorway her exuberant girlfriend had just disappeared through.

"Um," she was surprised, first that someone was looking for Lauren, and second that Cornelius just came running out of the bedroom and straight into the glass door to the balcony. She winced, and waved Lauren over.

"Yeah, she's right here. May I ask who's calling?" Camila said.

"It's Lisa. Her aunt."

Camila nodded slowly and Lauren looked at her questioningly. Camila held the phone out with her hand over the mouthpiece.

"Your aunt." She whispered.

Lauren's eyes widened and she took an automatic step back. Almost immediately her hands started playing with seam of the squeaky toy she was holding.

"What does she want?" Lauren asked cautiously.

Camila shrugged and gave her a sympathetic smile. Lauren held the phone up to her ear and Camila gently took the toy from her, and went to sit at the breakfast bar.