Secrets (COMPLETED)

Sweet November

She sat me across from her at the kitchen table. She folded her hands together as she looked down at them. She was nervous. I could tell the way she played with her fingers and lingered us in a tensional silence. I finally clasped her hands in mine causing her to slowly look up at me. I gave her sincere eyes to let her know she was safe with me. I'll protect her from the past and hopefully the future.

She nodded her head at me before starting. "A few years ago, when Darius wasn't even born, I met this guy. His name was Tom. Tom was a Wendy's manger by day, and a thief by night. Well him and I met because I was one of his employers at Wendy's. I needed the job because I was living on my own. The relationship I had with my mom was horrible, and I was a high school graduate with no hope of getting into college let alone a university. Tom knew this, and he took that to his advantage. He started getting friendly with me after hours, or the nights it was just us two at the restaurant. Eventually, we started dating. I opened up to him when that happened, and that's when he told me about his second life. At the time, I thought it was sexy that he lived a double life. A life that dangerous and no good. I started to go on these missions with him, and it made our connection stronger. He convinced me to quit my job with him, so I did because I loved him."
"Our bond started breaking when he started lying and setting me up, and I would've left if he hadn't used love against me. The love that I didn't have with my mom and dad. The love I didn't have for myself. That's when I learned you can't love someone if you don't love yourself, and you can't love someone who loves something more than you."
"It wasn't long before I realized he never loved me. He was just using me to fulfill his unconditional love for money. The only time he probably meant those three words were when we were fucking, or we just completed a mission. He was a sociopath and lair. He abused me emotionally and mentally whenever he didn't get the amount of money he wanted. He drained me. He broke my heart serval times, but it wasn't until I found out I was pregnant with Darius did I realize I had to get out. If not for myself, then my baby. The night I finally put my foot down and said this will be the last is the night he killed himself as revenge for me."

She dropped her head once she was done explaining. I squeezed her hand to let her know I was still here for her. I wasn't leaving her because some sociopathic douchbag guilt tripped her into doing things she wouldn't do. I was about to say something, but she spilled her hand out of mine. She looked back up at me with teary eyes.

"I'm a wanted felon Grayson. People are looking for me. That's why when we met that day at the cafe and you started asking about Darius, I tensed up because I thought you were one of his people. I couldn't live with myself if Darius got dragged down for my past actions. I couldn't forgive myself if that happened."

I reached for her hand again and clutched it in mine. She looked up at me with her teary red eyes while I looked at her with sincere eyes.
"I can promise you I have nothing to do with him or his people."

She nodded her head before wiping away her tears.
"I know."

We shared a silence for a moment. She never looked at me, but she did let me hold her hand. I wanted to hug her and assure that everything would be okay, but my words mean nothing if she won't believe it.

"Does Darius know of his dad?" I asked as it lingered in my mind.

"No," she sighed before looking at me. "I'm the girl who was pathetic enough to believe some bum nigga loved me, so he could get paid. I'm the sorry bitch who got knocked up by a loser who didn't even love her. Darius's father is his father because I'm the one who fucked him. I'm the one who did that. I'm the one who has to lie to her six year old son to make sure he never knows his father was a loser. I never thought I would be a lair like him, but I should've never said never."

"You lie, so you can protect him, your son. He lied so he could get paid. There's a difference."

She gave out a humorless laugh that lead to more tears falling down her face.
"I've said that to myself countless times to make me feel better about what I was saying when the truth is I'm no better than him. I'm better off with people remembering me for who I was not who I am."

"Why would you want people to remember you as a thief and not an amazing mother who loves her child?"

She shook her head.
"I pray you'll never understand it," she whispered.

She walked to her room to get ready for her night shift after that. I decided to not chase after her, and give her her space. As I sat there, I replayed the words she told me. Her dark past didn't make me love her any less. If anything, it made me see her as human. We all make mistake, tell lies, and hurt people, whether it be intentionally or not. It's human nature. My past wasn't any lighter or darker than hers, yet I still envied it. I envied it because at least people were aware of what was happening, but who I affected didn't know. They still don't. I hope to keep it that way. I hope that people know me for who I am not who I was.
********************************************************************************
Sabrina's POV:
Ethan was asleep on the plane while I stayed up wide awake. The note that lady dropped for me was still tucked in my pocket. My skin crawled and mind jumped at what would've happened if Ethan picked the note up instead of me. I wondered if he would've taken back the promise ring he gave me in the car ride. I couldn't tell him what Violet did for me. Not with what she has against me now.

I figured out the lady who dropped the note was Violet's employer who greeted Ethan and I at her shop that day. Violet would've had to have sent her. Violet's the only person who would've known about our little exchange other than Monica and Lola. I had to tell them. They're my best friends.

I looked over at Ethan who was sleeping peacefully. I looked out the window in regret. I don't deserve the praise he gives me. Not for what I've kept hidden from him. It's not like I ever lied to him, but it's something he needed and should know. I've wanted to tell him ever since we've gotten closer, but I guess I didn't have much of a choice now. He may think I'm the perfect girl. He may think I'm his little secretary in her own little world, and I wish I was that girl, but I'm not. I'm far from that.