Just a Girl (girlxgirl) (Book 1)

The Teddy Bear Dances

The warmth of her arms around me is comforting as my own arms squeeze her more tightly.

I'm not sure why I hugged her exactly. We were just sitting here watching a movie and I couldn't help myself. I needed a hug, and she's here. I don't know what I would do if Willow wasn't here for me right now. She stayed here with me while Buffy went over to see Faith. I don't know what they're talking about exactly or when Buffy will be back, just that Buffy said she needed to speak to Faith about something important and she would explain everything when she got home. And now here I am, hugging Willow for dear life while my sister and Faith talk.

Willow kisses me on the head lovingly and starts stroking my hair.

"It's all right Dawn. Everything's going to be all right."

There's no way to know that. She can't know that. Willow might be the most powerful witch ever, but even she can't predict the future. Or even the present. She can't know what my sister and Faith are talking about. Not for absolutely sure.

"What if they're killing each other? What if they're over there beating each other to death? What if Buffy went over there to kill Faith?"

She makes a comforting shushing noise before responding.

"They aren't. Buffy didn't leave here in a killing mood, and I know she'd never do that to you. She said she was going to talk to Faith and that's it. You know she'll keep her word Dawn, she's your sister."

Maybe she's right. But maybe it's worse than them killing each other. Maybe Buffy went over there to be with Faith.

"What if Buffy doesn't come home tonight? What if they start talking and they realize that they love each other and they spend the night together instead of killing each other? What if that's what's happening right now?"

Her arms hold me a little tighter as we sit on the couch together.

"It's not. Buffy said she wasn't in love with Faith and I believe her. She'd never sleep with Faith again. And I know that Faith would never cheat on you because of the way she feels about you. You don't have to worry about anything."

That doesn't stop it from happening though. My sister and Faith are not best friends. They almost broke out into a fight last night about everything that happened. There's no guarantee that it won't now that I'm not with them to stop it from actually happening. It could be going on right now and there'd be no way to stop them. They could be punching and kicking each other until they're both bloody and broken, and the only thing that I'm doing to stop it is nothing.

Or they could be over there kissing and groping each other and ripping each other's clothes off so they can make love to each other. That would be so much worse than making each other bloody and broken. I think it would kill me. Except that it wouldn't actually kill me so I'd have to spend the rest of my life knowing that anything that Faith and I may or may not have had would never be figured out. If they slept together again, I think I would hate both of them for the rest of my life and I'd never be able to get over that. I couldn't live like that. I just couldn't.

"I... I can't stop."

Willow keeps stroking my hair and making shushing noises to comfort me, but it only helps a little.

"It's all I can think about. I just can't stop wondering what's happening between Buffy and Faith. What would I do if they ended up together? I'd have no one."

She pulls back from the hug and looks me in the eyes, wiping the tears off my cheeks with her thumbs.

"Dawn, it's not going to happen. But even if the sky turned purple and the whole world started turning backwards and it actually did happen, you wouldn't have to worry about a thing. We'd take care of you."