Just a Girl (girlxgirl) (Book 1)

Declarations

Now what?

Looking towards the main room of the dojo as I sit alone on the bench of the training room, I take a deep breath.

Now what am I going to do? How do I go back out there and be just me? More importantly, how is she going to feel about it? She saw me as a slayer. We faced off against each other and had a lot of fun doing it. How is she going to feel about the fact that we can't do that anymore? Is she going to be okay with that? Or is she going to start wanting to be with a slayer instead of me?

I can't do all the great things that a slayer can. There won't be any back flips or spin kicks or anything like that when I step out of that door. I'm just a clumsy young girl who isn't really all that special. How do I compete with all the other slayers out there that can do the things that she can and more? That has to be sexier than being me. So what do I do now? I can't sit here in this room forever. But the second I walk out that door, I won't have all the cool powers I have now. It'll all go away and I won't be able to compete.

What do I do? I don't want to, but I have to. If only there were some way I could know how Faith feels. But I can't. She's out there with her class explaining all the mistakes they made when they faced off against me. I can't just go out there and ask her to talk about our relationship. Not with my sister, Willow, and a whole class full of slayers out there with her. It would be completely rude of me not to let her do that, but I don't know that I can make this decision without talking to her first.

My head drops into my hands as I try to calm down.

What am I supposed to do? How do I make this decision without some kind of help?

Just then, I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"You okay kiddo?"

Oh thank god.

I raise my head to look over at Willow sitting next to me.

"Uh, yeah..."

She gives me the same type of sympathetic look I saw on her face last night.

"Come on Dawnie, if that didn't work before, what makes you think it's going to work now?"

Looking down at the floor, I smile a little because of her question.

"Nothing, I guess."

We sit there together for a moment in silence before Willow interrupts it.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with you and Faith playing tongue twister, would it?"

What?

Our eyes meet as I feel a sense of shock wash over me.

"What do you mean?"

"Hey it was pretty obvious after I saw the two of you together. Faith may have said she wasn't going to take things easy on you, but I could tell she was being very careful not to do anything that would come close to hurting you. I've seen Faith hold nothing back and that wasn't it. She has a thing for you... and I get the impression that the feeling is mutual."

Hearing her say that makes me blush.

"Can I take the deep red you're turning as a confirmation?"

Her question gives me a reason to nod.

"And that somehow has stopped you from leaving the training area?"

Again, I nod nervously. Willow continues her line of questions.