JANUARY 8, 2017
05: 09 AM
i'm so sorry, hannah.
sorry, because i'm not supposed to send this message. i've written this message months back, spent months preparing to write something as important as this message, and wished i'd never send it you.
i think the time has come now.
i'm not supposed to send this. you're not supposed to read this too, because if you do, there's a good chance that these are the last words you'll ever get from me. last words i'll ever make.
sorry.
that night when i found your car crushed against a tree, i knew this day will come. there's no way i'll survive this downpour without an umbrella. there's no way i'll walk around without that image chasing me like a dark cloud.
the things i planned did not go well. i intended to talk to you, explain my side to you, bit by bit, and tell you that i'm ian once the right time comes, but i was too scared to tell you about anything. i was scared you wouldn't talk to me ever again once you find out the truth. i was scared that you'd figure out it was me all along. i was scared to tell you my true identity, because being paris is better than being ian.
i'm sorry i'm ian. i'm sorry i caused a lot of unintentional troubles in your life. i'm sorry i had to be a part of your life, or everyone else's.
sorry for everything, hannah.
i'm not sending this text in hopes that you will forgive me, nor am i sending this to make you feel worse. you deserve better. you always have. there is nothing i can do to erase the mistakes i have done. there is nothing i can speak that will make me feel worthy of living around you.
i am asking you to read all the messages that i sent to you, in hopes that it would lessen the damage i caused, in hopes that at least someone will understand me, in hopes that you will understand why i have to leave.
i've been breathing underwater for so long i don't know anymore what breathing air feels like.
maybe tonight i finally will.
thank you, for being the nicest person in the world.
whenever you want to look for me, just look at the sky. i'll be forever watching you.
remember the prince on the cliff? the one who's supposed to save either the Princess or the King?
he jumped.
YOU ARE READING
Then You Are Gone
Kurzgeschichten❝It's so amazing what a person can do just by leaving.❞ PARIS KESSLER texts Hannah Rod, drunk, mistaking her as his ex-girlfriend, and gets roasted after refusing to believe he's texting a wrong number. Annoyed the next day, he refuses to stop bothe...
