The Assassin and the Queen

Chapter 5

Celaena leaned against the wall of the keep, hands fisted in her hair. 

How had everything fallen apart so fast? She had been happy. She had created a life that made her happy. After everything, why wasn't she allowed that much/ She just wanted to be happy.

But no. Now Aedion was there, bringing back memories she had spent her whole life suppressing, and Sam wouldn't even look at her. 

She had gone back to their room after the adrenaline from her fight with Aedion had worn off. It had left her feeling empty. She had just gotten him back, and then pushed him away as hard as she could. What the hell was wrong with her? 

She had needed Sam, his constancy, his levelheadedness, his ability to make her remember that life would be ok. But when she had walked into the room he had stood up, not quite meeting her eyes. She had tried to speak, but the words just wouldn't form. After minutes of awkward silence, she had simply slipped out of the room. 

He didn't want her anymore. There was too much time, too  many secrets. And he didn't want her anymore. 

Celaena could feel the knowledge pricking at her heart like a tiny, precise blade. 

The worst part was that she couldn't blame him. This wasn't the kind of lie you could tell and expect to be forgiven.

Suddenly there was a cough from the other end of the hall. Celaena spun, blades already in her hands. When she recognized Aedion's casual stance she lowered them, but didn't sheath them entirely. 

"What the hell do you want?" her voice was harsh, perhaps harsher than it had to be. 

Aedion didn't seem bothered. "To talk to you."

Celaena scoffed. "You don't want to talk to me. I thought we cleared this up. You want to talk to a dead girl. I can't help you there."

Aedion moved forward a few steps, into the light. "Aelin Ashryver Galathius is not dead."

"She is." Celaena snarled, "Get used to the idea."

Aedion raised his hands. "I get it, you are Celaena Sardotien, Adarlan's assassin. You can kick my ass in a fight, and you never want to be queen. You've made that very clear. What I'm going to tell you, right now, is that as true as all that may be, you need to stop being a petty child and grow up already."

Celaena drew in a breath, ready to tear into him with words or blades, she hadn't quite decided yet, but Aedion held up a single hand. 

"Hear me out. And if I'm wrong, feel free to gut me and hang my entrails from the roof. You were 8 years old when it happened. You were sad and cold and alone, and you needed to be safe, so you walked away. I don't blame you for that, nobody could blame you for that. But then you didn't come back. You stayed cozied up in Adarlan, killing for money and dancing your way through life, and you left your people, our  people, alone. You sipped fancy wines while they died at the end of a conquerors sword. You smiled and collected your weekly pay while they scraped by, trying to find food. You abandoned them. But they never gave up hope in you! Do you know that if you go to Terrasen there are still whispers, still groups dedicated to finding you? Still rebellions planned and executed in your name? You are the people's hope, their only hope. Whether you like it or not princess, you are all they have. You gave up on them a long time ago, but they never gave up on you. Not once. You are still their golden girl, their princess, their queen. You've let them suffer long enough. It's time to stop running."

Aedion finished his speech, and Celaena realized with shock that there were tears in his striking eyes, real tears. 

She opened her mouth, then closed it again. There was nothing she could say, nothing that wouldn't make her sound like a spoiled little girl. 

How could she say that she wasn't worthy of being their hope, that they should find somebody else to fight for them?

How could she say that she wasn't strong enough to save anybody, let alone an entire country?

How could she say that she couldn't bear the idea of being shackled to a throne for the rest of her life, a pretty figurehead clothed in jewels and powder?

How could she say that even though there were thousands of lives on the line, she couldn't face the idea of giving up her freedom?

How could she say any of that?

And when in came down to it, 

how could she live with herself for thinking it?

Hey all!

I finally published something again!!!

Since my crossover is now finished (go check that out by the way!) I will be trying to update this story more, though I'm not sure exactly where it's going yet. 

Also, if you have any ideas for other fanfics I could write, let me know! I might not do all of them, but I have some serious writers block and could use the help.

Now, as always, don't forget to vote and comment below!!