Together Again

Drowning

Arizona POV

I couldn't believe it. This had to be a joke, or some kind of weird nightmare where Callie and I argued and one of us walked out. Every time we tried to talk. I wanted to pinch myself, to wake up from this nightmare, and have the nice Callie, the kind Callie, the Callie who didn't argue every second or walk out.

Leaning my head back to keep the tears at bay, I grabbed a tissue from the little table beside Sofia's bed. I hoped gravity would kick in. I wasn't going to cry. I was not going to cry. I hated being the one everyone thought was the sensitive little Robbins; I was raised to not cry, to suck it up. The authority issues were long gone, I hadn't had that happen in a few years.

But still, I couldn't believe Callie left again. I wanted to talk about Eliza, to perhaps, clear the air between Callie and I. But I really needed to talk about all this other crap that happened. Apparently, Callie wasn't ready though. In fact she may never be ready. I'd thought that the fact she didn't want to talk would anger me. Instead, it made me feel guilty. Just so guilty. I wasn't sure why. Maybe because I wasn't over the fact that I kissed Eliza back. I don't think she was either.

"Mommy?'

Sofia stirred next to me. My head turned in her direction, as I had been looking at the door that my wife had just exited. A smile appeared on my daughter's face.

But really though, was Callie my wife? We never put back on our rings. Right now, and honestly, just lately, Callie didn't feel like a wife. The whole sex thing last night was just a fling; two horny girls getting it on. It felt like Callie wasn't there, that she just accepted life for what it was and moved past the hard stuff without talking or clearing things up.

"Mommy, why are you crying?"

Realizing that salty tears were streaming down my face, I quickly wiped them away. Crap, I even vowed myself not to cry.

"I'm not crying. Mommy is just so happy you've woken up," I said, my voice cracking on the last word. I smiled slightly. I was so grateful Sofia had woken up. It showed good signs. But the thought of telling Callie bugged me. I wasn't sure if I should let her know Sofia has woken up.

I decided not to. It was probably best for now. For God's sake, Callie was mad at me once again.

"So they are happy tears?"

"Yes sweetie. They are," I said, even though they really weren't. I actually felt awful inside, like this was all my fault. I felt like I wanted to dig a hole, die, and start over again. I wanted to start fresh, you know, have a clean slate with Callie.

"They don't look like happy tears. You aren't smiling anymore."

"Oh sweetie, Mama and I just got in a little argument, that's all-"

"I wanna see Mama, where is Mama, let me see Mama!"

"Sofia, Mama went home, she is going to bed-"

"I want Mama! Make her come back! Please Mommy? Pretty please? Please, please, please, please-"

"Sofia!"

She stopped, little tears running down her face. "Mama went home because she doesn't want to talk to Mommy right now. Mama is angry with Mommy."

"Why is she angry at you, Mommy?" Sofia wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I told you why. We got in an argument."

"When will Mama be back?"

"I don't know sweetheart. But when she does come back, I'll have her come see you. Why don't you go to sleep now sweetie? I will wake you up when Mama gets here."