A Beautiful Love

PART 1

“I love you so much! Will you marry me?”
For a second I held my breath and I smile gently to him,” Yes, I wanna marry you and I love you more than anything else in the world.” That’s what I wanted to tell him, however as I looked at my best friend’s back while he nervously proposes to his girlfriend for five years, it breaks my heart into millions of pieces. He carefully put the ring on her ring finger as it is perfectly fit to her. They both hugged each other tightly and sealed their love in front of me. After that, he ran towards me and gave me a big hug.
If only I am the person you are proposing to, not her, but I know, being the supportive character in your love story is already a happiness to me, having this chance to get near to you and being embrace by you, while saying you’re thankful to me for helping you is making my heart leap with joy but crushed my heart with sadness. I grit my teeth as jealousy struck my heart and make a fist as I’m trying hard to stop the tears that is about to fall. Is it wrong to fall in love with your best friend? Is it wrong for my heart to feel jealousy because he will never be mine? Is it wrong to feel sad on the day of his happiest? I wonder.
I can feel my knees are wobbling but I return his embrace like a good best friend. And for one last time, I held my breath again and decided to show him my sincerest smile. He smiled back at me knowing that I am the only person who knows his every secrets and crushes, that’s how he trusted me.
I want to laugh at myself for being a martyr but what can I do? I love you like you’re the only person in the world. I love you like crazy! I had love you since we were in middle school, until you have found the one destined for you, however I just couldn’t help but to fall in love with you more than myself. I’m sorry for thinking impure things about you, I’m sorry for falling in love with you and I’m sorry that in your happiest day, I’m showing you this kind of smile, please allow me to be selfish just this time. I’m willing to be your strength but I know I will never be your weakness. God! What a fool I am! Yeah, I’m willing to be one heck of a fool just for you White! So, you better make sure to smile always or else, I’ll never give your hand to anyone.
Now, my world collapses and my tiniest joy and hope was crushed into ashes just in a blink of an eye. The moment when he turns his back at me, it feels like everything was moving so slow, I wanted to run and grab his hand as tightly as I could but the girl he love is waiting for him. In front of me, they hug and kiss each other, I want to direct my gaze on to other things but I imagined myself to be that person who is kissing him right now, then I whisper to myself,
“I may not be the one destined for you but I wanted to be that special person that you will never forget in your lifetime. Goodbye my first and last love.”

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Author's POV

“Hey Bro, what do you think of this ring?” White asked Captain. He and Captain were checking for a pair of wedding rings as he is planning to surprise his fiancée that is why he is asking for Captain’s help.
“Hmm? Yeah, it’s good.” He answered dryly, Captain is not looking at the ring that White is holding instead his checking the silver couple ring that has an engrave “CW’ inside it.
“Hey man, look at this one, I’m thinking of giving her a diamond ring. What do you think so?” He asked Captain again.
“Pretty good.” Aagain, there is not effort on his voice as replied and he’s not even paying attention to whatever White is asking.
“How do you know it’s good if you’re not even looking. Hey, look at me.” White grabbed his arm so that Captain will turn on his way but it only made Captain felt so troubled. He brushes off White’s hand and told him in an annoyingly tone,
“What? Just choose whatever you like and I know you have a good taste so just go for it, okay? Excuse me Miss, how much is that ring cost?” he pointed at the silver couple rings.
“I want you to pay attention to me, that’s why I asked you to go out with me today and now you’re brushing me off and checking for other rings, did I do something wrong to you?” White’s voice gets a little annoyed as well.
Hearing the words to “pay attention to him” makes his heart flutters for a moment and for that he made a puppy look at him, and said,
“Ahaha! White, what are you talking about? I’m giving you all my time right now and I do trust your taste as well, and you know I’m not good with things like gifts or rings.”
“Excuse me Sir, this ring costs 20,000 baht,” the Sales person handed him the pair of silver rings.
“Captain…”
“Hmm?”
“Who are you going to give that couple ring? Don’t tell me you have a lover and are you hiding it from me?” White’s sounds like a wife suspecting her husband from cheating.
“Not telling,” again, Captain brush off the topic and told the Sales person to return the rings from the glass shelf.
“Aren’t you going to buy it?” White returns the diamond ring as well.
“Nah, it looks good on someone that I know, but I think that person will never wear it in hi-her life time, maybe next time,” He looks at the guy to whom he had shared half of his life with. They are like what they call, bosom friends. He’s not just a childhood friend to him but he treats him as a family, especially as a ‘brother’. White was an only child and was raised alone by his father, that is why for him, growing up with Captain was a gift from God.
“Captain,” this time, White called his name softly and that made Captain’s face a little flush. He knew that he shouldn’t feel that way towards his childhood friend but hearing his voice calling out his name makes him feel giddy.
“Uhumm.. What do you want this time? Didn’t I tell you to-“
“Sshhh.. “White took the chance to shut Captain’s lips from speaking by slightly touching his lips with his index finger.
“Five months from now on, I’m going to get married so, I wanted to spend a special time with you while I’m still not yet tied too my girlfriend. I know that this past years, I have neglected you but you were still there and supported me. I can never find anybody else as a perfect friend as you, so please, give me your ‘whole time’ just today, okay?” White encircled his arm around Cap’s shoulder, and now he feels a little tense with the touch of their bodies and he tries to get away from him but White didn’t give him any chance at all. He drags him to wherever their feet could go.
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