0230 - Issei's House - Your POV
You slam open the front doors and see Issei in the kitchen getting a snack. And just for the record, you're completely smashed.
You: Heyyyy, Isshei! Come *hic* here!
Issei: You look a right mess, what happened?
You: I did my firsht contract! *gasp* *hic* that sounds like I killed someone! Like, *hic* Jamesh Bond!
You clumsily wander around the room bumping into assorted furniture, while 'singing' the James Bond theme.
You: ISSHEI! *hic* CATCH!
You throw the glowing needle at him, and it hits his left arm.
You: BULLSHEYE!
Issei: Wait, what- (collapses)
You: Fucker! (Goes over to him and kicks him) Get up, we're *hic* going on an adventure!
You drag him over to the sofa and you put him on it upside down on it.
You: Isshei, have a beer (places bottle in his hand)! Let'sh see if there's footie on the telly!
You turn the TV on and pop in a DVD containing assorted matches.
A few minutes later
You: GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAL! *hic*
You hear sets of footsteps come down the stairs and see Rias and Akeno, looking at you in confusion.
Rias: What the Hell are you doing?
You: Hello lasshes! I'm watching the beautiful game!
Akeno: Why are you so drunk?
You: Two words: Auric Goldfinger
Rias: I'm guessing it's something to do with his contra-
You: GOOOOOAAAAL!
You begin to sing
U-N-I, T-E-D!
UNITED IS THE TEAM FOR ME!
WITH A KNICK KNACK PADDY WHACK,
GIVE A DOG A BONE,
WHY DON'T SHITTY FUCK OFF HOME!
Rias: Well, he's completely pissed. I think we should leave him be.
Akeno: Yeah, it's for the best.
They go back to bed.
You: And on that bombshell, I take my leave.
You fall off the sofa and fall asleep
Your POV - 1000 - The floor of the living room.
You: Fuck me with an Iron poker, that was a fucked up night.
You regain balance, and join the others for breakfast in the dining room. They look at you, while all your clothes are soaked in vodka.
You: Morning, sorry I look like this but that's what my contract called for. I had to 'entertain' some girls.
Akeno: Yeah, the pictures show us that!
You: WHAT?
Akeno: We've got good news and bad news. Bad news is that the pictures are all over social media, but the good news is that they were too pissed to remember that you are a devil.
Rias: This should make school interesting... but where on Earth is Issei?
You: Oops...
YOU ARE READING
Captured Inferno - High School DxD Reader Insert
FanfictionIn this story, Akeno gets to release her desires when she receives a rather unusual mission from Rias: To capture a boy with extraordinary powers. You happen to be said boy, which leads to some surprising events. It takes place after season 3, afte...
