Outlaws // Taron Egerton

Thirty-One

TARON

     Bundles of liquor rests atop the dining table. Adrian and Luki has invited a couple of friends over, but they've left for a quick dip on the pool. They are the cast of the movie the twins are starring in. They said it's a form of their celebration for getting the parts. In addition, it's also their 'independent table read'-Luki's words, but I had not seen any papers on the table together with the wine bottles. They have probably kept it already, or they are just making an alibi-I couldn't care less.

     As I've observed the looks of the kitchen, I overhear a conversation from the living room. Someone is at the door and Leo is talking to the person in an angry demeanor. Curiously, I approach him and see Idris crying at the door. I tap Leo's shoulder and he jumps, looking behind him. "I'll handle this," he says, but I disagree. I push him away from the door and let myself out in the porch where Idris stood.

     I point at him. "Leo, I love you, man, but stay out of this," I say before pulling the door shut.

     Idris looks devastated. She is looking away from me. Although I feel extremely bad, I don't let it bother me on the outside, even crossing my arms and leaning on the door, waiting for her to explain.

     "What?"

     She pulls me in for an embrace but I don't budge. I try not to. "I know you've been ignoring me, but I'm so sorry, and I'll prove it to you."

     "Yeah? And what are you going to do?"

     She breaks away and holds both my hands. "I promise I'll listen to you next time. And I promise I'll fix this. And I think I know who's been trying to ruin me all along. I need your help." She pulls in once again. "You're the only one on my side, Taron. I can't lose you."

     That's where I crumble to pieces, even though I don't show it. It pains me to see her breaking like this-and I can't help but blame myself and feel responsible for her hurt even though I have the every right to be mad.

     She pulls away, finally. Trying to explain herself even more but I can't comprehend over her occasional sobs. And I can't help it anymore.

     I lean in to kiss her. It's the only way for me to express how I feel at this moment. I know she has hurt me a lot with what she did, but for her, I give in. And no one has made me feel the same way before-this is foreign, and it's both bad and good at the same time.

     "I really like you, Idris, but you've got to trust me. Don't you?"

     She tucks her lower lip back in her mouth, trying to stop herself from smiling. "I do."

     "Then act like it."

     She's still feigning a smile, and I tilt my head and look at her seriously. "I'm still mad at you."

     "How can I make it up?"

      "You have to prove to me that you do trust me. Idris, to be frank, I am tired of you constantly doing this to me. You know I'll never let you down, right?"

     She replies with a nod. And I can tell she does feel bad, as she should. I love her, but I strive to be equal. No one should be under the other, and I am not going to be Idris' little martyr. It's strange how this concept is new and I might even be deemed as selfish with this mindset, when it's literally how a healthy relationship should be. It is the mainstream media's fault trying to romanticize abusive or dominant behaviour when it shouldn't. This is one of the reasons why as much as possible, I almost never get on the internet. I'll just end up feeling dumb with what I stand for.