Jasmines POV
Me and Violeta got back from Starbucks and headed up to my dorm room.
"Wow this is exciting" she sang in the elevator.
"Yeah, I know right. It's so cool honestly" I replied.
"But I don't wanna be looked at as a fan, I wanna be looked at as a friend"
"Don't worry Violeta, we can make that happen!"
We got up to me and Ethan's room.
"Here we are.." I said unsurely. I remembered what had happened earlier. He called me beautiful and took it back. I was confused. That's why I went out in the first place, to get my mind off things.
I opened up the door and right away Ethan came up to me looking angry with his jaw clenched. Boy did that make me melt.
"Where were you?!" He didn't yell, but his voice was really firm, if that makes any sense.
"I was out with my friend Violeta, she's still in the hall one sec"
I went and grabbed her by the wrist and we walked in together.
"Ethan, this is Violeta. I ran into her when I walked out of our dorm room, she's just across the hall. She actually used to be a fan of yours" I winked.
"Hey, sorry you had to hear me raise my voice" he laughed awkwardly.
"It's fine" me and Violeta said in sync which caused us all to laugh.
"Wait.. did you say used to be a fan..??" Ethan questioned. I couldn't tell if he was being serious or joking.
"Well yeah I used to be crazy about you and gray. I kinda grew out of it, but i still support what you do and I think it's so super cool that I'm talking to you right now" she laughed nervously.
"Chill I was joking hahaha" he gave her a side hug.
"Who's lane were you in though?" He smirked jokingly.
"*clears throat* uhhh *cough* gray *cough*" she looked down at her feet while giggling.
"Oh.... she's a Grayson girl... hm.." Ethan said flipping the invisible hair off his shoulder.
"Butttttt I'm an Ethan girl" I winked, giving a cheeky smile.
Ethan's POV
wait.. does that mean something?? Nah, stop overthinking Ethan.
"You're an Ethan girl?" I ask, uneasy.
"Yeah dude, have been since we were seven."
"But we didn't start vine until 8th grade..."
I could see regret and awkwardness in her face. I mentally smirked.
"Um.. well ya know.. I was.. I-I was closer to you growing up!" She came up with an excuse so slow, it was cute, somehow.
---
The rest of the day consisted of drinking coffee and talking about how we wanted our future to lay out, and I noticed that Jas didn't talk as much and her mind trailed off a lot.
Jasmines POV
when we talked about our future.. I decided to stay quiet for a lot of it. I didn't want to lie, they were my friends. But I couldn't tell them what was really going on in my head, so I just didn't say anything.
That's because in my future.. I want Ethan. Even if it's still being only best friends I'd be fine. But I'm mainly looking for a relationship. I don't know if we'd get there, but I do know that I had to fight for it if I wanted to try.
Violeta went back to her dorm room around a half hour ago, her roommate called needing something.
It was then almost midnight and I was getting somewhat sleepy so I got ready for bed and sat down just kinda resting. Ethan came out the restroom and sat down on my bed next to me.
"Ya holding up alright?"
Shoot. I hope he didn't notice me being quiet that much.
"Yeah, thanks E. but I wanna go to sleep, I'm tired. I have a whole week till I actually start my classes, we'll have more time to catch up during this week. Goodnight." I gave him a side hug. I don't know why I did, I just felt the need to, I guess.
"Alright. Goodnight jas" he hugged me back.
Ive missed him calling me that.
We turned off the lights and I got into my bed as he walked across the room and got in his.
The night scares me. I always over think.
Bold = jasmines thoughts
Italic = Ethan's thoughts
Why did I do that back then?
How come I did that back then?
I fell for a guy who'd never like me back.
I fell for her, but there was no way she'd like me back.
He ran away from me.
I chased her.
And there was nothing I could do to let him know how I felt.
But there was nothing I could've done to just make her see that I felt the way I did.
I've missed him so much over the years, but he probably was focused on YouTube and his fans.
After she moved away, those few years all I could focus on was her.
He didn't even try to DM me or anything.
Every night I would debate on whether I should try to talk to her. But I never got the confidence.
I just wish so badly he'd feel the way I do.
I'd give anything to make her see how I feel.
But now it's probably too late.
He has a whole other world he's living in.
But now it's too late. She's my whole world, and I'll never be hers.
But no matter how hard it is knowing he won't be with me...
And even though it breaks my heart knowing she won't be mine..
I love him.
I love her.
