Months later
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A few months ago I basically ran away. From my problems. From my friends. From my college. From Ethan.
And I'll never understand why he did what he did. I've thought several times I could've given him a chance to explain. But I didn't.
He hasn't stopped calling me.
He hasn't stopped texting me.
He hasn't stopped trying to reach me in general.
And I never answer, reply, or even try to talk to him. Sure I feel bad sometimes, but he deserves it. The whole relationship was a lie. I don't know if I believe him or not about saying "it was a dare. It was okay? But I did care about you I do love you". I don't know, to be honest. As much as I want to believe it, I can't.
Why?
That's just something I don't have the right answer to, really.
But I've never lost any feeling for him what so ever. And I know that no matter how hard I try, I'll never be able to let go.
It is now the summer. I got kicked out of the college I went to, because I literally just ran off without warning. I've been living with my mom and dad and brother again. Man, I can't believe my little brother is almost sixteen. We're still super close, and when I need someone to rant to about Ethan, he's always there. He doesn't act like he cares. He really does care. And knowing that feels great.
----
"I don't know Violeta."
"Please jas. You have to come back to LA. I miss you like crazy. And so do the boys."
"Why, do you guys still hang out?"
"I hang with Grayson because we're dating. I try to kinda stay away from Ethan, but the kid follows Gray everywhere. He's gotten even more attached to him ever since you left."
"I get that, Vi. It's just taking time to think."
"It's been months Jasmine! Please I need to see you again. And Ethan is a sloppy mess without you as well. And since you and gray were best friends, he's not doing his best either."
"I know I know and I feel bad about that part. But I'm just hurt, alright? It was all fake. I'm almost twenty one for goodness sake, and I've loved this boy since we were seven. It's a lot to process."
"I can't say I understand, because I don't. I've never gone through that. But I can tell you I'm really sorry, and I'm here for you. Just think about it okay??"
"Goodnight, Vi."
"Ugh. Night Jas.. love you"
"Love you too."
And with that I hung up.
I walk over to my bed and slide under the covers as I scroll through my phone.
Ugh it's so hot in here.
Well obviously, it's the middle of the summer.
I push down the covers so that they're only on the bottom of my legs and only a sheet is over me.
I'm so tired.
I turn off my side lamp and start to doze off.
DING
I groan and roll over in my bed. I pick up my phone.
It's from Ethan.
I decided to look through everything he's texted me.
12/14/17
Where are you??? I ran to the Parking lot and your car is gone.
Please come back
Jas answer me
Goodnight.
1/26/18
I miss you.
3/3/18
I still miss you.
4/21/18
I'm always gonna f👑 miss you.
Why don't you ever answer me??
I know you see these.
Goodnight.
7/4/18
I've given up.
I've lost hope.
I'm empty.
I'm sorry.
It's been over a half a year without you.
Night
He's making this so hard. I decided to text back.
Goodnight Ethan. I'm sorry.
Read-1:58a.m.
I sigh to myself and turn my phone off as I roll to my side and fall asleep.
SORRRRYYYYY FOR NOT UPDATING IN FOREVER BUT I GTG MY BROTHERS HOT FRIEND IS OVER K PEACE
