Misunderstood Thoughts💭

Lost

Currently in a state of uncontrollable thoughts while feeling like im losing myself or never really knew myself. I find myself second guessing everything because of my current absence of who i used to be & who im becoming keep conflicting with what i think im meant to be. The reassurance of those i care for & sometimes dont care for seems to be common factor in me displaying who i think i am shit im rambling with the words im saying feeling even more confused & lost... Why must i be so complicated & weird not really great at trying to explain my thoughts always feeling unloved, unwanted & invisible is the norm yet i still crave the satisfaction of having that sense of actual feeling you know?  I guess its just my uncontrollable thoughts making me feel stuck in my own destruction of the mind.