Misunderstood Thoughts💭

Dear Love,

We've been down this road before to have loved & lost. I'm sick of it! I'm tired of losing, building relationships with people, and being left to pick up the pieces in the end but I feel a bond...... A connection this time. I trust her but not entirely with my heart. I don't want to lose my Friend but if it's for me it'll remain.... Right? I'm attached and sometimes I think it's too much but I can't help it. I feel safe, seen, heard with her. Sometimes the things you love and enjoy the most also pain you the most. Is all this pain worth the love I feel..? I miss it.... The absence of our conversation alone pains me and leave my mind wondering if it's me? Am I the reason for this cycle of loving and losing. I find myself wishing I couldn't feel more times than I would like to admit because I don't want to hurt no more but then I wouldn't be able to feel love. I'm conflicted should I leave this connection alone or fight for it.... But I can't fight by myself love I'm tired, tired of thinking, feeling, and sometimes existing. Why can't I feel love without great pain. I need a sign. I'm tired of loving.
- Sincerely, Lonely Lover💔