personal works.

for kyler

for kyler ::

you don't have to read this. actually, you probably won't read the whole thing. but what can I say? I'm really a sucker for heartfelt notes. you, out of all people, would know this.

but I think you can have an idea on what this is all about. I'm going to miss you, more than you can imagine. I'm tearing up thinking about my miserable, awkward self, without a kyler in my life. if I couldn't bare the thought of you moving to Colorado, I'm surely going to get emotional over you switching schools. though my brain is telling me to stop being so fucking dramatic, my heart is aching in my chest.

I'm sure that somehow, we'll remain friends. I guess if we truly cared about our relationship, we would put up an effort to maintain it, right? But I'm surely going to miss our little inside jokes. I'm going to miss our stupid memes about 'love and protection.'

but I think what is the most memorable about you is your laugh. the kind of laugh that tugged your heartstrings as you let out an involuntary laugh, without being aware of what exactly was so funny. the very moment my adrenaline kicks in as I dial your number, waiting to hear that stupid little laugh that makes me 'die.'

namjoon is seriously cutting the damn onions because I can't control the tears rolling down my cheeks as I recall everything I will, most likely, experience less frequently.

the first time I saw you, walking in with your cute ponytail and little water bottle, I guess I didn't think that much about you. but as I got to know your friends, it just happened to be that I wound up in your friend group.

everything that has happened from then up until now has been absolutely wonderful. I mean, everything happens for a reason, right? If my past mistakes and sorrows really led me to this time in my life, I don't regret a single thing. it's true what they say, eventually everything will be ay-okay.

so I guess that is the main point of this note. let's face it, you're probably going to make new friends, and focus on your future from there. not making time for relationships. perhaps even the other away around. but the relationship that we have made together has been beautiful. every memory, every laugh, every fight, has been amazing. you're the kind of girl that someone really can't forget. you've left such a deep indent in my heart that I really can't work around it. you truly mean a lot to me.

to think, I haven't even known you for very long. but I've already learned so many lessons from you. for one, you've taught me that other people's opinions are far less important than my own. if their kindness was not genuine, why make it worse for both of us? you also taught me to be much more independent. I was so used to leaning on other people, that I rarely trusted my own intuition - also because I was afraid of what people would think.

every word you say, no matter how fucking stupid, has stuck with me. now you matter to much to me that I really don't want to let go of you. but I have no choice.

I would say, "I hope you're happy," but that has a negative connotation, huh? But I'm being honest. if you're happy, I'm happy for you. I love you.

yours, tay