Chapter Two
A few weeks passed without any contact from Jack. As much as the unknown plagued me, it was also a time of rest from the constant expectations and fear that had become my world.
“Javan?” I called as I searched the house. We were expected at my parents’ house for breakfast, and Javan was supposed to be finding his shoes.
“Mom!”
Javan tumbled out of his room and landed at my feet as I reached his door. A laugh escaped as he glanced up at me with a rascally grin. He was so cute. His bright red hair was enhanced by the paleness of his skin. The deep blue of his eyes was constantly changing with his mood but most often would sparkle with mischief; like now. The moment I bent down and helped him up, I heard Chase wail from the carrier I had left by the door.
“Okay, buddy, let's go.”
I grasped Javan’s hand as we headed to the SUV.
My heart stopped, and I took a deep breath before I walked closer. Next to the
SUV was Jack’s car and him leaning against it.
“Daddy!” Javan yelled as he ran up to hug Jack's leg.
“Hi.” I offered tentatively. The protective walls I had built up emotionally in the
past few weeks of his absence were firmly in place, and I waited for him to speak.
Jack’s hands were tucked in his blue jean pockets and he leaned back, regarding
Javan and me with steely eyes. “I uh, I need to ask you a question.”
My heart pounded with hope; maybe he had changed his mind? I glanced down
at Javan, who was acting like a tourniquet to Jack's leg, but so far Jack hadn't even said ‘hi’ to his son.
“Yes?” My voice betrayed me with a slight wobble. I swallowed in an effort to eliminate the lump in my throat.
“I um, well. I want the SUV.”
The pounding of my heart suspended as I processed his words. What did he want with the car?
“The SUV?” I repeated dumbly.
“Yeah.” He tried to take a step forward and realized Javan was still attached to his leg. “Go to your mom, boy.” He ruffled Javan’s hair, but his eyes didn't hold any warmth. Javan's face crumpled with hurt, and he shook his head.
“No!”
“Go to your mom, now.” Jack bent down to look him in the eye. Javan studied him for a moment before he turned around and ran to me. The tears were flowing down his face by the time he reached me.
I waited, not wanting to speak. I didn’t want to risk saying something I’d just regret later.
“Yeah, I need the SUV. I don't want to be making such a huge payment on a car, so I'm trading it in. I've already got the papers. I just need your signature.”
“Oh.” I was caught off guard, but I recovered after a moment. “What am I going to drive?” I asked with more confidence than I felt.
“You can have your grandparents’ car back. I don't want it. I'll get something when I trade in the SUV.”
I wanted to argue, complain about how we purchased the SUV so I'd have a reliable car when I drove with the kids. But I didn't open my mouth. Months, years of his accusing me of undermining him if I questioned him in the slightest had turned me into the insecure wreck that I was, and I no longer knew how to fight.
