Chapter Five
The lunch dishes were just being cleared and put into the dishwasher when I heard a pickup pull into the driveway. My knuckles were white as I gripped the towel. Anger flushed my face. Jack, with a brand new pickup. When he had visited just after my birthday, I hadn’t looked outside, but he must have had it then as well. What happened to his plan of turning in the SUV for a lesser payment? The truck outside would be far more expensive. He jumped out and walked to the door, pulling out his keys and opening it up without as much as a knock.
“Oh, hi Abby. I um, I need to speak with you.”
I watched him with a cautious eye as I placed the towel down and walked over to the table, careful to place it between us. He shifted his weight on his feet and glanced up at me with a sheepish look. The baby monitor was quiet, and I was thankful that both Javan and Chase were down for a nap.
“Yes? What did you need?” I refused to sit even when he did and motioned for me to do the same.
“Fine, have it your way. I need to tell you something, and I, well, I wanted you to hear it from me first. “
My heart began to beat wildly. Whatever he said I wasn’t going to like it, that much was certain.
“I met someone.”
“What?” I asked, sure I had heard him wrong.
“I met someone, and well, I just wanted you to know, that, well. You could do
the same, if you wanted.”
I stared at him, unable to process everything I was hearing. He had met
someone? Another woman? The world began to spin, and I felt myself drop into the chair which was, thankfully, behind me.
“How could you?” I spoke with an accusing whisper.
“Well, we met at work and, you um, you know her. One thing led to another, and I think it’s for the best.”
“Wait, what do you mean one thing led to another? You’re just dating, right?” As if that made it better, and why did I even ask the question! I didn’t want to know the answer. I didn’t want to know any of this. The urge to run away with my hands over my ears and lock myself in my room nearly overcame my strength to see this through. My heart was breaking, but at the same time, I felt a peace that shouldn’t be there but was filling my heart. The sense of peace caused me to close my eyes as he answered the dreadful question.
“Well, not just dating, exactly. I’m living with her right now.”
“So you’re sleeping with her.” My voice was expressionless as I kept my eyes closed, focusing on my breathing. In, out. In, out.
“Well, I didn’t want to go into that kinda detail with you, but, well, yes. Of course I am. I’m living there, aren’t I?” He rolled his eyed at me as I had just barely opened mine.
“Wow.” I whispered, disbelieving. How could someone take their vows so lightly? We were still married, neither of us had made a move towards divorce, and he saw nothing wrong with infidelity. My lips asked another question before I could think to stop it; I didn’t want to know the answer.
“How long?”
His eyes widened at my bold question, and he looked away before answering. “Well, it’s hard to say—“
“How long?” I yelled, angry and frustrated at his inability to answer. If I could be brave enough, or crazy enough, to ask the question, the least he could do was answer it.
“About six months.”
Quickly my head did the calculations. Before my birthday, before he even left. It was just before Chase was...
“You were sleeping with her before I even had Chase.” My voice was weak with shock. I knew things weren’t good, but I had no idea.
“Well...”
“No, I don’t want to hear any more. Leave, now.” I closed my eyes and laid my head in my hands as I heard his chair scuff the floor as he stood. “Wait.” I held up my hand. “Are you sorry, at all?” My gaze bore deep into his, willing him to feel any remorse.
“I’m sorry...” He shook his head.
“You are?” My heart clenched for a moment.
“No, I’m sorry because I’m not.” He shook his head and left.
****
Betrayal stung hard and deep. Each time I would think of it my heart would seize in my chest, and I’d feel like I’d been sucker punched. I had waited to tell my parents, wanting time to make up my own mind as to what I would do next. As I walked over to Chase’s crib, I saw him look up at me and smile a wide toothless grin.
“I’m here, sweetheart.” I crooned as I picked him up and patted his back. Love for my baby surged through me. Both Chase and Javan were helpless in this, but so help me I was going to give them any protection I could. Resolutely, I took Chase down the hall with Javan following close behind. A moment later, I picked up the phone.
“Mom?” I closed my eyes, offering up another prayer to add to the millions prayed over the past twelve hours. Peace covered my heart.
“Hi, baby! How are you?”
“Mom, I need a lawyer.”
“Oh. Okay, what happened sweetheart?” Her voice was strained as she
undoubtedly speculated on my sudden desire to hire a lawyer after holding fast to the hope that I wouldn’t need one.
“Jack came over and enlightened me on a few things...” My voice trailed off. I didn’t want to deliver such information over the phone. “We’ll come over shortly, is that okay?” I asked, trying to divert her attention.
“Okay, but well, just tell me this. Are we talking divorce or separation, honey?”
I took a deep breath and paused, checking my heart once more before I answered. “Divorce.”
